I need some assistance!

by Kool Jo 16 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Kool Jo... I tell NO one I used to be a JW. I have started a new life. Only my Therapist knows, because I am trying to get well.

  Most worldly ( tm ) people think of JW's as annoying little people that pester them on the week-end with their know it all, religion.

  I posted a thread 2 weeks ago about a book called "Nice Girl". When you have been abused too much, you become overly nice and helpful, essentially a doormat, that cruel and bad people sense immediately, with the result, you get used over and over again.

  If not understood, she will not be able to understand why this bad treatment continues, all the while she is so good and kind to EVERYBODY, whether they deserve it or not.

  I am happy for her that she has a friend in you. She needs one. I wish you could give her a hug from me/us here on JWN. We understand.

  LoisLane
• 

  nugget

  If your JW identity is secret then do not share it since you are then entrusting another person to keep your secret.

  I agree with Black Sheep that she needs to do the thinking. If she left due to conflict with doctrine she is more likely to stay out than if she left because she felt she hadn't kept to the rules expected of a JW. Ask her if she has done any research on the religion. As it is a religion that demands huge sacrifices of it's members and especially it's young ones then it needs to be worthy of making those demands.

  You can recomend books she may find helpful that you have come across.
• 

  Kool Jo

  Thank you all for the suggestions! Well, my coworker and I spoke for a few moments on Saturday morning and went for coffee before heading off to work...she just opened up herself so much...unfortunately, I see the effects of the cult affecting her, although she hasn't been to the Khall in a few years.

  We spoke over the phone today and we'll be going out for dinner next week...by nature, I do like to help people and being their for them...so I'll hear her out..from the little we spoke about while having coffee together, I really see how her work, family life ect has been affected by the cult.

  I told her that we can keep intouch and I'll be there for her...my company is sending me to another location again, so don't want to become too emotionally attached to her.

  Will keep ya'll posted when we go for dinner next week.

  Peace

  Kool Jo
• 

  snare&racket

  I appreciate it is a big thing to do, but the world is a lonely place when its you vs the WT, especially in the early days. I say let her know x

  then give her my number ;) x
• 

  Farkel

  Well. It is my humble opinion that folks who are still in a cult need to spend more time figuring out why they are still in a cult and less time trying to help people who are having doubts about leaving a cult. After all, THEY got out, even if they are having doubts. People who haven't got out should rather look to them for guidance and help than offering it to people who have at least taken that step to get out.

  "My friend who quit being a heroin addict is thinking about getting back on heroin. Now, I'm a heroin addict, so how can I tell my friend that would not be a good thing to do, because I could never muster the strength to get off it, but I do know how bad it is." Pflooooot!

  Next, is "guilted" an actual word, and when did "guilt" and "guilted" become verbs? I must have been on heroin when that happened.

  I know this is a serious subject and maybe, just maybe, I'm making a little too much light of it, but here is the deal as I lived it:

  I would never even MENTION that I was a dub for nearly 20 years after I left. I never had regrets for leaving and all the family pressure in the world couldn't get me to go back. I never had that problem with my dub friends. They would have nothing to do with me after I left. This is called "spiritual encouragement" in WatchTowerSpeak. I was not DFd, or did I DA. I just split while I was a MS, conducted a Congregational Book Study, gave Public Talks both in our Congregation and many others, and ran our 2nd Theocratic Ministry School. I was also a Pioneer. After being a pretty much "born in" and all that, I just smelled the stench of the shit that is all things Watchtower.

  I guess what I am getting at is once one can really smell the stench of the shit that is all things Watchtower, and realize that is what it is, one doesn't need much help from anyone else if one really wants to breath fresh air again.

  Farkel
• 

  Faithful Witness

  Wow. I have been on this board for only one day, and I can see there are many different types of people here. Just like real human beings, it seems the JW's are not all alike after all. Lately, I have been telling just about anyone who will listen, that I "almost" became a JW. This is not quite true, of course, if I were speaking to someone who knows how the org is actually run... But people at my church asked me to speak to a ladies' fellowship group about a year ago... They called it "from Jehovah's Witness to Christ." i almost passed out when she said that, but also made me realize how specialized this is.

  It sounds like you're doing the right thing and using a good approach. Keep it up!
• 

  Farkel

  Kool Jo,

  Here is is final thought from a master at enlightenment.

  Mahatma Ghandi, the single man who was personally resposible for freeing one BILLION people from the repressive rule of Great Britain and who lived his own life in poverty and service, was approached by a lady who travelled hundreds of miles across their Country to see him and ask for his advice.

  Of course, Ghandi would see just about anyone who approached him. Here is a man, like the Biblical Jesus who would create a marvelous revolution, who was as approachable as one's best friend. She said to him, "I need you to help me convince my son to stop eating so much sugar. Sugar is bad for him. Can you help him."

  Ghandi, said "Yes, I think I can. But I want you to leave me and come back in two weeks before I can help him."

  She was rather upset, because after her long trip, she had to find accommodations for two weeks, just to get Ghandis' advice. She was poor and such a condition was a major hardship for her.

  So she found a way to survive and came back two weeks later, just as Ghandi asked. When she did, she asked him, "can you help me now?"

  Ghandi said, "yes. I think I can." She then asked, "why did you make we wait two full weeks before you gave me your answer?"

  Ghandi replied, "I had to wait two weeks to wean myself off of sugar before I could tell your son how to do it."

  As the real masters say, and certainly Ghandi was one of them, "let your faith be not in your talking, but in your walking."

  Sigh. If only the Watchtower leaders were 1/10th that wise!

  So Kool Jo, you are not in a position to "fix up" anyone who is an ex- dub with doubts about that choice until you "fix up" yourself. You never even went as far on the gangplank as that person, and you think you can "help" that person? Trying to "fix up" others only detracts from your own challanges.

  Ghandi transformed history and freed India. Personally.

  Go look in the mirror and then transform yourself and then you will be prepared to transform people you love in the JW religion.

  Otherwise, you are just a puttering dillatante who won't face your own issues and are trying to validate your lack of doing that by being a busy-body. And a hypocrite.

  Farkel