They're Making it Impossible to Fade

by DarioKehl 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Finkelstein

  In reality the elders are more afraid of loosing people who they cant count as a publisher because when your a JW you are a number counted by the Watchtower Corporation as one of its devoted sales representatives, controlled to their expressed liking . You bring free labor and money and subservience to the leaders, right from the top GB to the local CO's. You also create power to the those men who are in position of power right from the top GB members all the way down the ladder to the elders and MS servants..

  For some men that means a lot to them as individuals and their personal acknowledged identity of themselves.
  
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  tornapart

  I must admit the business about the blood card has bothered me. I do not carry one and haven't for a few years. I still go to a few meetings because of family but they know where I stand. That I really only go for their sakes.

  It's becoming more obvious to others that I'm 'fading' and I get the love bombing whenever I show up at a meeting. I've made it clear that I don't want to talk about anything if I get asked. A barrier goes up that they can't get through, I only let anyone know what I want them to know. The blood card issue is something I am going to have to make clear is nothing to do with them, that anything medical is my own personal business and I don't want to share it. It may be difficult but they can't force me to do what I don't want to do.They will have to live with it.

  I'm very interested though to find out how others are dealing with 'fading'. There's so many that are still going to meetings and assemblies and it helps a lot to know how they are coping. It's such a fine balancing act,
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  DATA-DOG

  I'll tell you how I'm doing.... As good as can be expected. I have reasons for staying in...for now.

  Also, I work at not judging the R&F. I have pity for them, and the situation frustrates me. Sometime I have to bottle up everything, not because I'm an unfeeling person, but because I don't know what will happen if I let go.

  Right now I'm a "spiritually sluggish" brother who everyone likes. They all think I'm funny and fun and smart and cool, they want to hang out and be friends. That may be the saddest part of all. JWs are just people who are kept in the dark. They want to be themselves and be normal, have fun and have friends.

  DD
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  Bonsai

  A conversation with elders or cong members never has to advance beyond initial greetings. If they try to get into something I just jump in and say, " Sorry but any conversation revolving around god or religion just sets me off into a deep depression that threatens my mental and physical health. If I want to talk about some thing I'll call you. Have a nice day and goodbye."

  If they come around asking to sign a new copy of the blood card, I will tell them the old one( which actually is in a garbage dump somewhere) works just fine. Bye.
  
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  Bonsai

  The key to a good, successful fade is to be passively aggressive. Be adamant and upfront about not wanting to affect others faith and let them know for that reason you chose not to talk about religion at all. Also, make it clear you are mentally distressed and depressed and any conversation around religion causes you great pain and harm. They will get it after a while. I have literally trained the JWs around me to not get into religion with me. They know they can have friendly conversations about sports, the weather, even gossip about somebody still in etc, but when it comes to spiritual things - I run for the hills.
  
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  DesirousOfChange

  this new method of having COPIES of your "No Blood" medical directive on hand.

  This is news to me.

  I haven't read the entire string of posts yet, but WOWSERS, that is sticking their nose where it does not belong.

  I mean, isn't that a wonderful demonstration of love.........

  Doc

  DATA: They all think I'm funny and fun and smart and cool, they want to hang out and be friends.

  I can see why they'd think that about you, Data!
  
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  stuckinarut2

  FREDDO:

  "Thank you for your interest, brother - I have some personal matters that need all my attention right now and so I won't be able to join in/join up/do that/have a shephering visit/go on the ministry with you/ if anything changes I'll let you know."

  
  This is a great line that all of us trying to fade should memorise!
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  Daniel1555

  If any elder approaches you saying, that you should hand in a copy of your blood card (or asks about the witnesses to your no blood decision) JUST SMILE AT HIM AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE: "Thank you so much, brother xxx for your concern. But no, my medical directive is something personal, that I will not share with you. Be assured that Jehovah knows about it, and I will fully rely on him if any urgency occurs."

  The elders can't do anything but respect your decisions in this regard.

  (Looking forward if any elder would have the nerve to approach me with this, as I told them in great detail why I would accept a blood transfusion for myself and my son and even donate blood.)
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  OUTLAW

  .

  ....................
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  LisaRose

  I think a lot of it is in how you respond when questioned. If you don't feel guilty and refuse to give out any personal details, the elders will have a hard time getting to you. We all know JWs who get away with horrible conduct and never seem to get caught.

  Not that it's your fault, they have had years to control you and even knowing the TTATT does not make the mind control go away over night. But the sooner you can get to the point where you know you owe nothing to these people, the sooner you can break free. It's a process, it takes some people longer than others.