Why do abused wives stay with their husbands?
Why do some abused children defend their parents?
Why do friends and family members make excuses for the alcoholics in their lives?
Why do friends and family members make excuses for the drug addicts in their lives?
Why do people stay in a job with an abusive supervisor?
I hope you see a pattern developing.
Fear is the moving emotion but a fear of what is unknown or what they imagine is worse outside the situation.
Abused wives wonder how they will provide for their families and are convinced the abuser will escalate his abuse and kill them and the children.
Abused children are afraid to break up their family and/or that they will be the hated one not the abuser.
Friends and family members of alcoholics and drug addicts don’t want to rock the boat. The alcoholic/drug addict might lose their job. The friends/family members become enablers rather than face the user. “We have to protect the family name,” “It’s my fault they drink/use,” “how will the family support themselves,”
And keeping a job you hate with an abusive supervisor. Fear of not being able to get another job that makes as much. Fear of going back to school. Fear, fear, fear.
So it's a common response to abuse and abusers. Of course, you lose something by standing up for yourself. But what do you lose by staying?