by Julia Orwell 55 Replies latest jw friends
Personally I'd love a chance to cut her off at the knees - figuratively of course:
"Thank you for your kind offer of a Bible study. I agree that being in the faith involves preach the "Good News" worldwide. Would you be willing to study the "Good News" according to Paul with me, starting in Romans and ending in Hebrews?
(More than half the NWT's roughly 152 references to "good news" are by Paul!)
Yeah if i was in your shoes with no family in i would go on the offensive, do it in a way where its not going crazy but tacfully blow up all thier teaching and call them out. You have nothing to fear since you have no friends or family in it. Go down swinging and maybe rescue someone in the proccess.
Konceptual99 nailed it: "If you really want any hope of remaining friends then you have to really tone down the anti-JW rehtoric. You have to turn off all the critical stuff about dates, hypocrisy, pedos etc. and just go back to being "tired". There are none so blind as those who won't see so don't even think you persuade them. Even quiet faders lose friends so don't expect to be able to be open with people and still keep a half decent relationship with them. You, me, them - we were all conditioned to distance ourselves and it's only us that have realised that." If you want to remain friends, you need to put your agenda aside as much as you want her to. You have the upper hand here. You see the bigger picture. Take that advantage and make the most of it. And to her credit, I thought her email was very nice, considering the source material.
I think Julia has a very good conception of what has gone on with her JW "friend" seeing the woman as swinging into "JW mother mode" (a wonbderful expression!).
Sometimes in life it is enough that we try to figure out the best way to navigate our own way through difficulties without being overly caught up in how others may or may not react.
Julia, I have every confidence that you will find a way through this. There is no right way. As the saying goes, there is more than one way to skin a cat. Your personal wisdom and your knowledge of this woman will serve you well - regardless of the outcome.
Thanks all. Got some time off today so might try drafting a reply and run it by you. I owe her a reply and kindness as a friend first, irrespective of her Jw self taking over.
OK, here's my shot at a reply (draft) so tell me what you think. I'm reconciled to the outcome that she may break off our friendship over religious differences, but I try here to reach her genuine self.
Hi S***** I appreciate your kindness, and I can assure you my spiritual journey is continuing and progressing. Like you said yourself, in 1 Cor 11:3, it is ultimately Christ and God who are our heads. I come to Jehovah through the Son, who said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." Therefore my relationship with Jehovah is an intensely personal thing. It exists irrespective of cold hearted, legalistic, deliberately cruel people who live to a double standard. As you asked, I have discussed your kind offer with [husband], and we will politely decline it. We live in accord with the Bible's guidelines, and although many treat us as though we are disfellowshipped, we are not and have not contravened the Bible's moral code or other commands in any way. However, religion itself tires us. It causes me great mental distress, and that in turn hurts [husband]. God is truly loving, and Jesus has taught us that love and mercy are the essential components of true Christianity. Therefore we leave ourselves in Jehovah's care, and continue on life's journey in spirit and truth.
And that's as far as I've got so far. I use the name Jehovah because it's a concept she understands, because not using it would be more noticeable than using it, even though I don't believe in that name. I'm pretty much agnostic at the moment, but live by Christian values.
Julia, tell her how much you love her as your friend and how important she is to you and let the rest be. Giving her all the facts and details will serve only to push her away and she won't listen anyways.
This would definitely be a time to just let it be and move on to the next thing, no sense wasting time with someone who already knows all the answers(the org is imperfect yet ALWAYS right).
Good point. I will rework my message.
I've reworked the message to be more on a personal level and draw away from religious matters.
As you asked, I have discussed your kind offer with [husband], and we will politely decline it. We live in accord with the Bible's guidelines and have a good foundation in Scripture. I'm still trying to find some stable work atm, and [husband]'s also got quite a lot on his plate with his legal claim and work and that. You have always been such a good friend to me and I really appreciate that. Although life kicked you down a few times, you always bounced back up with a smile on your face! You're a great role model too: hospitable, caring, and never judgemental or saying anything bad about people. I'm still working on those things...we all have a long way to go in some area of our life! Anyway, did I tell you my brother left [interstate employer]? He's now in the police, stationed at [Local suburb]. I really enjoy having him nearby. We're working on a novel together right now, well, we have been for a few years, but now he's back in [our city] we might finally get it finished! I'll give you a signed copy when it's published lol.
I know this won't be the end of it, but I've taken out the cult triggers.
With a few little changes I just sent the above. Let's see what comes back.
