by Django_Unchained 18 Replies latest jw friends
i'd particularly like to stick it to the woman who gave birth to me by sending a da letter to her congregation, though admittedly i wasn't part of hers when i stopped going.
say i were to send the letter to her cult hall, would the letter be read during the announcement? how does that work?
Django I got disfellowshipped years and years ago I have never regretted it one bit. If I had not been disfellowshipped I probably would have just faded by losing interest in the borg. As for them reading your DA letter from the platform I doubt it, but I've been out so long and they keep changing, who knows?
Forget about it.
Just live a fun, fulfilled life and keep all that jw shit in the rear-view mirror.
The DA announcement is read at the hall that holds your publisher card.
They say "Django unchained is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" nothing more. They don't even differentiate if you DA or DF.
This is partly done as an informational control measure. If lots of people began to DA and they announced it that way, other sheep would start thinking, and that is the last thing they want.
There was a thread here several years ago about announcing a DF/DA in other congregations.
If I recall correctly, it has to do with the circumstances, the person's position in the congregation and how well known he is. The higher up the ladder (elders, MS, pioneers, etc) the greater the chance of if getting read to another congregation. Timing also is considered. If the person moved to a different congregation recently that would be a factor. Same with the "sin." A brother who gets DF'd for smoking is less likely to be made an "example" of in another congregation than a brother who DA's on Apostacy and the elders feel that he still has an influence on some in the congregation.
All in all, it is up to the local BOE.
Rub a Dub
oh well. kinda disappointing. i doubt anyone but a few people would even remember who i was over at the one i was last in. i was barely there as it was.
then again, the woman who gave birth to me does have some friends over there...perhaps that would mortify her to some extent...
Yes, don't expect to get your 15 minutes of fame if you are not really known over there.
Rub a Dub
"i'd particularly like to stick it to the woman who gave birth to me"
I don't understand this ?
The best way to stick it to any JW is go on and live a happy life without them. Happiness comes from living your own life.
To “Django_Unchained”:
I for one do agree that it would be a good idea to send a very brief but concise letter of disassociation to whichever congregation you were last formally assigned, with a copy also sent to your country’s branch office – that is, of course, if your own heart tells you that it would be beneficial to you and offer a sense of closure. Every such letter has to make a tiny nick in the armor of the cultic persona of anyone who becomes aware of it – it must register on some level in their conscious/subconscious cognitive functioning. (Every little bit helps to chip away at the walls of the Watchtower’s little empire.)
Some folks tend to disagree, saying that sending a DA letter would amount to a personal acknowledgement of the Watchtower’s rules and control (playing their game). However, I feel that such a letter could be thought of as positively and actively “standing up” to them, as if to say, “I dare to let you know that I disagree with your organization and that I quit. So there! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.” Such a sense of empowerment and closure is, I think, therapeutic.
Moreover, the best, ultimate answer you can give to everyone, though, is to live well and enjoy life. (A poster recently made that point using the term “live well,” and it really struck me.) I think that is really the best option because if fosters your own self-esteem, which is very important, and also because people can see that you are happy and have serenity. It is better than either lashing outward or lashing inward at yourself through self-defeating thoughts and actions out of spite – the latter of which I myself have always had a tendency to do due to my longstanding low self-esteem combined with my insecure and compulsive nature. I am very recently trying to work at having self-esteem by engaging in positive thoughts as well as conveying a healthy pride and assertiveness toward other people. (Easier said than done.)
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your pain and moving on to actually being able to enjoy life. Take care.
The best way to stick it to any JW is go on and live a happy life without them. Happiness comes from living your own life.
true, and i'm working on that.
however, she's a nasty woman, and we have some nasty business. she's hurt me in ways that i can't even put into words.
there was a thread not long ago, something like, 'was being a jw really that bad?' and the op argued that it wasn't and that many of the stories were exaggerated. frankly, i was floored. then i got to thinking, for sure, some people don't have it that bad and can leave peacefully. others have a much harder time getting out. i've come to the conclusion that it's different strokes. how deep was your family in? how deep were you in? what all did you give up? how much have you sacraficed and lost? there's so many variables that come into play with that question.
i didn't just lose jw family, that woman is the only jw 'family' i have. i lost all of my non-jw family as well.
i made a lot of bad decisions trying to be a good du(m)b, many of which i'm just now overcoming.
it's tough reconciling the fact that i could have bypassed all of this ugliness by being a "bad son" and ignoring the cult nonsense. it's very tough looking at how things were before she got sucked into the cult and how drastically things changed afterwards, but to be blamed for everything bad that's happened. one particular even that still bothers me is me asking a court judge to stay with my father when he and that woman fought for custody and being sent to stay with her.
i was a square peg hammered into a round hole and eventually things broke. the road to repairing myself has been ugly and painful. sometimes disastrous.
so i have every intention of living well. i now have the means to accomplish some long standing goals and to live the life i want. i can't get my childhood back, i can't change some of the past decisions, but i can make things better from here on.
that said, i'm not above sticking it to her whenever i can. there's a lot of pain that she put me through and i'd like to return the favor whenever i get those chances.
