employment question

XstuckX

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I've been lurking for awhile. A little background...I've been a JW all my life. Baptized at 16 because all my friends were doing it. I'm now in my 30s.....married with children. I live in a very small town. I work for an elder who is basically viewed as Jesus himself in this area. He's a very nice guy and a great guy to work for.

For the last couple years I've been having serious doubts. Doing my own research I have come to the conclusion this is a hypocritical cult that I want nothing to do with. Also believe they are wrong on some major doctrines. However, my whole family are JWs. I'll be shunned by EVERYONE if I leave. Also, I'm very established at my job. And there aren't good jobs readily available being that's it's a small community.

My question is..has anyone been in a similar situation? And have you lost employment because of leaving the org? And is there any legal recourse if I did lose my employment over this?
Thanks in advance.

blondie

If you DA or are df'd, you most likely will lose your job if you work for a jw. There is a legal recourse, but you have to prove in court. He could find a "legal" reason other than your jw status. I would start looking for another job without jw ties.

Truth seeker 674

I was in a similar situation as far as work goes but I was younger not married and did not have kids at the time. Is your spouse a witness too? The fact that you have children and a familly that are in complicates things. Your number one priority should be your own familly. Tread carefully when I got turfed I lost everything.

cantleave

I was in a very similar situation. The answer to your question regarding legality depends on which country you live in. I was lucky enough to find another a job before everything imploded.

ruderedhead

Please follow Blondie's advice. Start looking for another job QUIETLY. Something that will improve/expand on your already existing job skills.That is the reason you can give for leaving your present employer. You have a family to support, after all. If you can find something eventually outside of your small town, that would be wonderful.

In the meantime, try and keep quiet about your feelings about the religion. Keep researching, and plan your fade. It may take a while, but if your whole family is in, it's what you must do. Hope all goes well.

XstuckX

Truthseeker: my wife s a witness. She knows how I feel. I've explained my feelings and things I've come to realize. I thought if I laid it out in a factual reasoning matter she would see what I see. She doesn't. She thinks the "evil apostates" have infiltrated my mind. She even went to the elders when she was angry with me about something totally unrelated and told them I didn't want to be a witness anymore. I was able to explain that away without much to do, but I'm sure I'm on the radar. I haven't been in service for over a year and meeting attendance is sporadic. My wife does respect my feelings though. She used to tell me to just tell the elders how I feel, thinking that they would "help" me. I finally helped her realize that the only thing that would come from that is I would get df'd, shunned by everyone I know, lose my job. etc.....

LisaRose

The way dubs gossip, I would assume this will get out eventually. Your boss may well value you enough to keep you on even if he finds out, but I wouldn't count on it. I would look for a job that you won't have to worry and pretend to believe something you don't.

jgnat

My wish for you is an exit plan. There is something terribly corrosive to the human spirit if it feels trapped. Having a plan will help you gain a sense of control. Here are some ideas for your plan.

Learn how to reach your wife, her genuine personality, by completing a profile on her. Steve Hassan has a survey form that can be enormously helpful even if all you do is fill it out.
Update your resume. Cast about for a new job, maybe out of town.
Inoculate your children, age appropriate, by teaching them how to think.
Visualize what your ideal new life will look like and make small changes to get there.

Chaserious

Go and see a local attorney if at all possible before you leave/go public with your doubts and tell him/her that you are almost certain you will be fired if you leave the religion. It's much better to be proactive when you know you are going to get fired than to get legal advice after the fact. It's not always going to be easy to come up with enough evidence for a wrongful termination case, but it's usually going to be easier to gather evidence you might need later while you are still on the inside than after you've been shown the door.

rebel8

I agree--start looking for a job NOW. (I worked for dubs and they ran their business into the ground. Before closure they had to lay someone off and it was me, not the totally incompetent/lazy dub they hired after me.)

Secondly, get a spiral bound notebook. Every day when you go home, write a note about what happened that day. What you were assigned to do, what you did, what your boss said, if anything significant happened, who witnessed it, times and dates.

Thirdly, start bcc'ing all your emails to a personal email address outside of work.

In case you need to make a complaint about religious discrimination in the workplace (which is illegal), you will begin to build a case.

Start documenting NOW, before there's a problem.

Keep copies of any proof you have that you are "well established on your job", such as business cards with job titles, emails giving you promotions or responsibilities, etc. Keep a file on all your accomplishments.

Next, begin to fade. Do not say anything about doubts, disbelief, worldly activities, etc. You are missing meetings because you're sick, depressed, discouraged, whatever.

And congratulations on waking up yourself. Most people don't.

It will be ok.

employment question

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