Hi all

by Saltheart Foamfollower 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Saltheart Foamfollower
    Saltheart Foamfollower

    Firstly, love and greetings to all - I've been lurking here and elsewhere for a long time and have benefitted more than I can say. I'm still in - I have a genuine fear that coming out would kill my mother - but I've recently taken the first step away. I told a non-JW friend that I knew it was all a load of nonsense and I didn't believe any of it. Since then I've celebrated her birthday and entered the lottery!

    I've been trying to get others to think over the years without giving myself away. I have three rules I try to follow :- 1) Only use scriptures and examples from the NT as far as possible 2) Emphasize Jesus and being a christian as much as possible 3) Never use the term "faithful and discreet slave" unless I am reading it - always call them the governing body because that is what they are - the managers of a business! I've also managed to slip a few thoughts in over the years - I once discussed how the 14th century fit the last days in a public talk.

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    Welcome Saltheart:

    If you been lurking then you know that there are many of us in in the same predicament---having a parent(s) and treading lightly so as not to cause unnecessary grief.

    It's commendable that you are trying to do something from within. I know that through the years, hubby and I have helped a few to see the 'light".

    warm regards

  • Glander
    Glander

    Saltheart Foamfollower - Since you are still in, I'm surprised you would use your real name!

    Anyway, glad you are here.

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    Welcome

  • 3rdgen
    3rdgen

    Wlcome Saltheart! Hubby and I have faded but can't come out and do and say what we want because of his elderly mother. She and her JW family have always sidestepped many of the rules yet now that she is old, she acts like the church lady. Go figureAll the best to you.

  • flipper
    flipper

    SALTHEART- Nice to have you here. I understand the caution in dealing with your elderly JW mom. I'm careful with my older JW parents in what I say but since I've been out for 10 years I'm less careful anymore. The longer you are out in an inactive state, I've found I can tolerate less of the JW bull$hit when they make excuses for unjust behavior by my JW relatives. I do call them on my JW relatives unjust behavior yet tell my parents I respect your right to stay JW's - I just don't agree with how some JW's act unkindly and unethical. And my parents still respect me and my views. So I'm careful but I stand up for myself

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    Welcome, Saltheart Foamfollower! Any fan of Stephen R. Donaldson’s wonderful Thomas Covenant series is a friend of mine.

    “Stone and Sea!”

    Quendi

  • Comatose
    Comatose

    Welcome friend. It's nice to meet you. I wish you the best. I hope you keep posting on here. It's always nice to talk to new joiners. So what in particular tipped you over the edge? Was it something you can pinpoint? For me it was many things, but accidentally finding that people quoted in brochures and books were not really saying what they implied they were was a blow. Then research started and bam, it all went poof.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome Saltheart Foamfollower, I like that you have created rules for yourself to help other JWs to think critically for themselves. What are your plans to also help yourself to fade from the WTBTS? Do you need to get a better education/trainingn to qualify for a better job? What would you need to do to help your mother to think critically enough so that your leaving would not cause your mother to consider you an apostate? You have a lot of options for preparing JWs to think critically for themselves without saying anything that might cause them to label you as an apostate.

    I would recommend that you do the following to help you make your plan(s) to fade from the WTBTS, and, if possible, help other JWs, who you love to critically think for themselves.:

    • Post as much as possible on JWN to either vent your frustrations and to ask for help about specific points of your plan. It is better to vent your frustrations on JWN then to JWs.
    • Visit websites such as www.jwfacts.com, www.watchtowerdocuments.com, and www.jwsurvey.org, and www.freeminds2.org to name a few to research the WTBTS's history and changes in doctrines.
    • Visit Steve Hassan's website www.freedomofmind.com to learn more about the BITE control techniques that the WTBTS does use and how to overcome them. If you cannot afford to purchase Steve Hassan's book "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs" in an ebook format, see if you can either checkout his books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind") at the library or at least watch the following two videos of Steve Hassan at least twice: "Steve Hassan explains SIA method to rescue loved ones from unhealthy situations (2003)" and "Steve Hassan at NYC Ethical Culture Society February 2013.
    • Go to local community colleges, adult education/vocational schools, and/or high schools to take aptitude tests and obtain career guidance.
    • Make more non-JW friends that you would enjoy spending time with. By the way where do you live? When you leave the WTBTS you will need a social network to help fill the void of JWs who will be shunning you.
    • Only ask simple questions to help JWs to critically think for themselves. Reading Steve Hassan's books and posting on JWN will help you. Something as simple as saying Hello and is anything wrong to a JW may help them to open up about their doubts and/or use of anti-depressants. All you need to do is help them to focus on what is causing them problems and suggesting that they use the internet to search for key phrases. I would select key phrases that might help them to discovery a JW support forum.
    • Ask JWs to do fun things with you, to do fun things with non-JWs, and/or to learn about topics/hobbies that will take a lot of time away from attending WTBTS meetings and reading WTBTS's propaganda. A very time comsuming topic to learn and one that will help you and your JW friends later in life is to learn about investing. If you lived in the USA, I would recommend going to the TD Ameritrade website and learn how to use ThinkorSwim to learn more about investing.
    • Send JWs who you know anonymous emails like I wrote about in the thread You’ve Got Mail! TM. Something as simple as sending highlighted WTBTS propaganda that you can find links for such as in the thread ROLE REVERSAL: PLACING 1969 AWAKE WITH JW'S MANNING THE NEW PORTABLE LITERATURE DISPLAYS may help JWs to wonder how soon is soon.

    Best of wishes of you fading from the WTBTS and helping others to critically think for themselves.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    i am so far out of/past the cult i cannot bear to come here too often but i definitely have to acknowledge a reader of the Chronicles! hope your seperation from the cult is as complete as you need it to be...

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