How long will it take to be reinstated?

by blindfool 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • blindfool

    OK, heres my question for all the ex-elders out there.

    It will be announced Thursday that my niece will be disfellowshipped.
    The circumstances are not important to this discussion, but she is
    remorseful for her actions and has taken steps so it will not happen again. She actually made a lot of sacrifices to try to make her mistake right. Its not hard to figure out her mistake, she's single and 22 years old, use your imagination.

    She is a loyal witness. She has spent a lot of time in service, but she made a mistake.

    From what I understand, she wants to do everything she can to get back in the fold.

    So, how long will it take? Can the JW's really affort to be losing good loyal members?

  • moman

    Tell her to stay out, its a dangerous cult!

  • b_ster

    I expect the reinstatement to come in a year.

    I was never an elder, but my best friend was df'd for _apparently_ the same thing and that lasted for a year.

    I hope she enjoys being alone...

  • Amazing

    Sounds like a very odd story. Though it does happen, usually someone very remorseful who has taken such steps will not be DF'd. She could still approach the Elders and say that she came to her senses, and wants to meet again before they make their announcement. If they are not receptive to this, she can hand them a letter requesting reinstatement every month. They have the power to reinstate her anytime. Though some really old hardliners like the old traditional one year of DF minimum before reinstatement.

    That said, the best advice was from Moman ... tell her to stay out, get to college and a degree. Tell her that if she feels religious, she can try different churches.

    Following Bible principles, we will avoid trying to live - or demand others to live - by an extensive and rigid set of dos and don'ts that go beyond the teachings of the Bible. The Watchtower, 4-15-02, pg 22, pp 15

  • blindfool

    Thanks for your reply. Please check your e-mail.

  • SixofNine

    "Though it does happen, usually someone very remorseful who has taken such steps will not be DF'd. "

    I don't think "usually" is the correct word, Amazing. Sure, no one is supposed to be df'd if they are repentant. No one. Period. End of discussion.

    That's just not the way it works.

    Whatever it was that made those particular 3 elders go "cowboy" on your niece, are probably the same factors that will go into their allowing her to be a full human again.

  • Joyzabel


    May I suggest that you use this opportunity to subtly point out to your wife and niece the unfairness of this situation and is it really Christ-like? Sometimes a harsh judgment can begin to crack the jw armor so that other doubts about the policies and procedures maybe questioned and lead to doctrinal questioning. Isn’t that what you really want for your family? Christian freedom?


  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    According to my information, there is 3 things the elders look at for reinstatement. 1) You are repentant for what you did. 2) You are not practicing the wrong doing anymore. 3) You are regularly attending meetings. As long as these 3 prerequisites are present they have to reinstate you after a period of time. That seems to depend on which congregation you are in.

    A good point that Moman and Amazing brought up.

    That said, the best advice was from Moman ... tell her to stay out, get to college and a degree. Tell her that if she feels religious, she can try different churches.
    I wouldn't personally suggest another religion because in my opinion one is no better that the other. She has to find her spirituality within herself. Tell here that she doesn't need anyone else's approval to feel good about herself and to learn to love herself instead of the self hate that is taught by the Jdubs.


    "I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
    Mark Twain

  • SYN

    Ask your niece why she is a loyal Witness. Then tell us, and we'll tell her why those are not reasons for being a loyal Witness. Simple.

    People who argue with their own chromosomes are doing something that's pretty pointless, somewhat akin to trying to drink the ocean with a spoon.

    Seven006: "Have you tried drugs? Shooting up a little heroin might do the trick, it's hard to type when your stoned out of your mind. I don't know how TR does it!"

  • blindfool

    Thanks as always for the kind words.
    This situation did give my wife and I an opportunity to talk.
    She also feels that her niece is not being treated fairly.

    The problem is and I guess always will be, that my wife is stuck between really analyzing her beliefs or having a relationship with her family.

    I think I've come to realize that its not fair for me to want her to make a choice. My goal at this point is for her to learn the importance of forgiveness and the fact that we are saved by God's grace and not our works. If she can be free of the WT's presure of field service and required meetings, I think I can live with Sunday meetings and having respect for the JW's beliefs on unimportant issues.(ie. cross or stake, heaven or new earth).

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