Helping a student to leave

by Freethinking76 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Freethinking76

    Well ,one of my relatives is studying with jws,she called me about the sexual abuse lawsuit against the jws,I told her i needed to talk to her about other things,she agreed ,and told me that it will be between us,any suggestions?

  • problemaddict


    Focus not on the problem, but on the policy which protects the org rather than the children. Don't be too harsh. Just tell the truth.

    Discuss blood. That is madness.

    Explain disfellowshipping. How if you publicly disagree with the governing body about any "current" doctrine even though it is subject to change, that you can be disfellowshipped, which then makes it a disfellowshipping offence for any current JW to speak to you. It is just too much control.

    If you celebrated your birthday, or the birthday of your child, that would be a disfellowshipping offence.

    Then if doctrine turns them on, you can bring up the changes in doctrine over who is chosen by God, who the GB are, and what kind of power they weild and then enforce through DF'ing.

    Make sure you explain you have no beef with JW's. They are good people trying their best, but that the leadership has exerted much too much control over them. Give her a few things to bring up in her study, and then tell her to pay close attention to the reaction of the person studying. Do they say it is all lies without even investigating? Are they willing to investigate? Did the word apostate come up?

    Since you can most likely predict the reaction and weirdness of the study condustor, that is your ace in the hole I think.


  • laverite

    You can always share links to JWN and JWFACTS. Also, I especially enjoyed Jake's OP here:

    I actually saved his post to my computer for future reading and reference, it was so beautifully written. Perhaps there is something there that could be used in your discussion?

  • cuckoo in the nest
    cuckoo in the nest

    Speaking as a study who saw the shite, I can suggest you tailor your approach to the individual students' predelictions. If they have family, especially children, highlight the paedophilia issue. Show them the real BOE letters if you can. If they are spiritually minded, show them the twisted scriptures, how the Bible has been manipulated to fit the WT agenda. If they are intelligent, or have an appreciation of learning, use the anti-education rhetoric, how they laud ignorance as a virtue. If they are of a charitable, compassionate nature towards their fellow humans, show how we're all going to die horribly when the Big A kicks off and how the WTS revels in the idea of 7 billion worldlies being dispatched by their loving god.

    Whatever issue you think will best get through to them, I'm sure the WTS has shot themselves in the foot with it at some time, so good luck.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi Freethinking76, When will you be talking with your relative? Before you do read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs") and visit his website If you don't have time to read Steve Hassan's books, at least watch the following two videos of him at least a couple of times: Steve Hassan explains SIA method to rescue loved ones from unhealthy situations (2003) and Steve Hassan at NYC Ethical Culture Society February 2013 at least a couple of times.

    The most important things that you can do are unconditionally love your relative, ask her if she has independently and thoroughly researched the WTBTS because of potential consequences if she changes her mind, and help her to do her own research and to critically think for herself so that she draws her own conclusions.

    Another thing to do is to show your relative Watchtower and Awake! propaganda (Study Editions) that shows what the WTBTS promotes to JWs. Depending on how long your relative has been studying with JWs, JWs have been slowly trying to indoctrinate your relative by not showing her what the WTBTS promotes until she has been conditioned to agree with them. JWs will tell your relative that she is not ready to understand the Bible truths, but in reality she has not been conditioned to blindly agree with them. Go to to print out copies of WTBTS (Study Editions). You can ask JWN members for their favorite WTBTS propaganda to show to non-JWs to show them the following that the WTBTS really promotes:

    • Refuse whole blood transfusions even if you will die without being given a transfusion or become DA'ed
    • Shun all JWs who leave Jehovah either being DF'ed or DA'ed. The Watchtower (Study Edition), July 15, 2011, 'When Someone We Love Leaves Jehovah", pages 30-32.
    • Avoid close friendships with non-JWs
    • Do not celibrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Independance Day, Memorial Day, birthdays.
    • Do not enter churches or attend religious services by other religions,
    • Do not get a university education,
    • Blindly belive in the new light even if it contridicts old light and do not run ahead of the new light,
    • Flip flops in WTBTS doctrines, read the information in this link from wikipedia to locate WTBTS references for WTBTS changes in doctrines

    Best wishes helping your relative to critically think for his/herself.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • Crazyguy

    I would go slow and just maybe talk with him/her about thier issues or concerns mention and if they are real bible studyers then maybe piont them to were they talk alot about bible topics. I know for myself after waking up, these sites really help me to become very knowledgeable with the bible. Before i was an average JW that could get schooled by any elder or pioneer with regards to bible knowledge, now i can give them hell.

  • Freethinking76

    Thank you ,so much ....she will be coming to visit Saturday

  • Freethinking76

    These links are awesome !

  • jhine

    Freethinking , I think that she might already know about the blood issue , Christmas , birthdays etc those are the things that most people do know about the Watchtower , though of course brings these things up . You could also bring up their habit of mis-quoting others to give credence to their theology . A good place to start is the " Should You Believe In The Trinity ? "booklet the original one if you have it or can get it . Show her the quotes from the Early Church Fathers , Tertullian etc and then show her what these men really wrote , easily found online . The two have little resemblance . Then explain that when some JWs found this out a new booklet was printed , basically saying that you can't pay much heed to these writers , the opposite of what is said in the first booklet .That will show their willingness to not only mis-quote but also change their opinions on people to suit themselves .

    Hope that this helps

  • Freethinking76

    Thank u jhine, I dint even knew that myself! She has been studying for about 3 months,and told me that she's been feeling very depressed and feels that

    something is not right.she mention that everytime she asks questions she has been told that who is she to question Jehovah God! I can't wait to tell

    her run as fast as you can,but in other words :)

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