Zealous Witnesses who never had children and regret it now.

by MsGrowingGirl20 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • ctrwtf

    This subject has always touched a nerve with me. Some time ago as a family we aere just having a normal evening. Cooking drinking laughing and playing cards. For some reason I looked at my two beautiful children and thought about the thousands of children never born because "woe be it to the pregnant woman." what sick and twisted BS. A wave of sadness overwashed me.

    Now I wonder what loving god would dangle a carrot before people for 100's of years? Causing people to forego the best life can offer? Marriage, children and family. I thought god is postponing the end to save lives. What about all the lives never experienced? What utter nonsense!

  • nugget

    The year we were married there was an assembly talk "responsible Childbearing in this time of the end" which basically discouraged couples from starting a family urging them to wait to the new system. Many of us who married that year waited a good 12 years before starting our families feeling obliged to follow the advice and wait. However in that time I saw faithful ones who had not had children grow old and die knowing that in the new order they would not be married and not have a chance to have a family. I never regretted having children and feel desperately sorry for those that longed to have them convinced they only had to wait a little longer and the new order would be there.

    The way the meetings are designed shows that children are very much an after thought. They have recently included more material for family worship night but it is often inappropriate and delivered with a heavy hand. The number of publications for young children is very limited (not necessarily a bad thing considering how appalling it is). It is clear that they do not use childcare specialists to prepare their materials and just go for what they think will appeal.

  • Phizzy

    It is so sad, I know a "Sister", now in her mid-sixties or so, who Pioneered from school till now, and never married. She now lives alone, and helps out other sisters with kids, as a kind of surrogate Auntie, no bad thing, but I feel she misses not having a partner and/or children.

    Most of what she talks about when we speak is those kids, what they do, their achievements, she would have made a lovely Mum, and yet has been denied that pleasure by listening to the W.T.

    I detect an underlying sadness in her, which makes me feel so sorry for her, a lonely, bleak old age is all she has to look forward to.

  • mrquik

    I had a close friend who was a CO. His wife was the joy of his life. They, of course, never had children waiting patiently for paradise. When she died, he was inconsolable. It was unbearable to watch. He wasted away & died several years later. This sick cult is guilty of so many tragedies on so many levels.

  • Jaidubdub

    It's heartbreaking to see those that have put off marrying & having families for this cult. I have heard some of my friends use the term AAA - available after Armageddon. I know they will live to regret it. It angers me just how responsible this cult it for dysfunctional families & lives. It has ruined so many lives in so many ways. It's a struggle each day as I try to rebuild what they took from me...

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    This is one of the things that has bothered me over the years. I understand the couples that make a choice to not have children because they simply don't want them but, there are many, many couples that truly want to have children and they felt pressured into making the decision not to have them because the leaders of this religion said they shouldn't. I already had my child before I came in but I can't imagine what those women feel like who have that desire and never had them because of the presure. The ones that chose to have them or it was an oops had to live with comments and judgements from others because of their choice, it is a natural desire in most women to have children. They take everything away from you in this religion. I look back on everything and sometimes I still get so angry because of the loss of so many joyful things in life. They would be happy if all we did was go to meetings and out in service. It is so sick and I believed all of that BS at one time.

    Jim, I sent you a message.

  • Gayle

    I suspect it's more the husbands not wanting children anyway by their own personal nature, but they hide behind that to come off as very "spiritual" and sacrificing, till after Armageddon. Though some wives are that way also, many of the wives are put off to wait also.

    Too, if they are already in full-time work of special pioneers, Bethelites, missionaries, CO, or DO, they would have to leave and get a real job to support their family.

    Unfortunately, many would see "parenthood" as a demotion in their 'position' of their world/life.

  • BluesBrother

    I had hoped to find a more reasonable quote on the c/d rom , in recent times - but no :

    Jeremiah Book 2010 p94

    "6 What relevance is there in God’s command that Jeremiah not marry or have children? Today, some loyal Christians are unmarried or have no children. What might they learn from Jeremiah’s case? And why should even Christians who are married and have children give attention to this feature of Jeremiah’s life?

    7 Consider first that Jeremiah was to remain childless. Jesus did not command his followers to abstain from having children. Yet, it is noteworthy that he pronounced “woe” on pregnant women or those nursing a baby when tribulation came on Jerusalem in 66-70 C.E. That time would be especially difficult for them, given their situation. (Matt. 24:19) We now face a greater tribulation. This should add a dimension for Christian couples who are deciding whether to have children. Do you not agree that it seems harder and harder to deal with these critical times? And couples have admitted that it has been very challenging to raise children who will “keep living” through the end of the present system. While each couple must decide if they will have children, Jeremiah’s case is worth considering. "

    It would be hard to brooch the subject from cold but if an opportunity arose one could use that "Children " book quote and say that if they had followed that advice in their 20's , they would be over 90 now!. I believe that is the book written as a story narrative about a young couple who "found the truth" and they decided to put off parenthood (or was it the wedding?) because the end was so close......

    I was browsing it in the J H library and a Pioneer sister, whose son was grown up, saw me and told me the end. She thought it funny that the expectations were false and giggled about the lost time...... If they don't care that there religion teaches dangerous baloney - what hope is there?

  • MsGrowingGirl20

    That is so sad! It's enough to make you just want to burn down a freakin' kh!!!! What the hell is wrong with those men???! jeez I would've been so bitter and even hearing about other people is so heartbreaking. gosh

  • coffee_black

    My parents went together for 10 years before marrying....because you were supposed to wait until after the big A. They married in 1949. They wanted children and pretty much ignored the council to wait....(they had already waited too long) My mom was 35 and my dad was 42 when I was born. They tried and tried to have more children after I was born.... my brother lived only a day and a half....and my mom had numerous miscarriages. i was to be an only child.

    I was pregnant in 1975... had 2 wonderful children and 5 awesome grandchildren.

    None of us would exist if my parents had listened to the borg about children. They often commented that they had wasted 10 yares that they could have been together by obeying the council of the society.


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