Zealous Witnesses who never had children and regret it now.

MsGrowingGirl20

I had two close friends in the org. One is in her early thirties and got married last year and the other one is single and in her late twenties. After reading COC, I couldn't help but feel sad at how Ray and his wife felt regret at putting the religion first and not having any children. I'm also scared because when I was going to the meetings and my friends and I were close, we spoke about children and agreed that we don't want to have children in this system.The wise thing would be to wait until the new system and then have kids,right?

Since I stopped going meeting last November, we have spoken about twice.

I would hate for these wonderful women to go on and miss their chance to have children and then regret it. Its so sad. That's why I wish that I could just 'wake' them up but I know that it's not as easy as that. I try to hold on to the thought and hope that one day they leave and enjoy life and have kids if that is what they really want.

I'm thinking....Anything that I want to send them or tell them will just be interpreted as apostate. They will mentally go into 'block' mode and I would be df. Not that i really care but I want to still be able to talk to them.

Is this common? Have you or anyone you knew experienced this?

Marvin Shilmer

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“Is this common?”

I doubt there is anyone who’s been a JW for more than a few years who does not know a married JW couple—and probably more than one—who forewent having children until “the new system of things.”

More often than not, these couples end up regretting the choice. Particularly is this true of the wives.

Marvin Shilmer

Ding

If you show doubt as to the nearness of the new system, you will be suspected of apostate thinking.

Watchtower-Free

Just another thing JW leaderships needs to answer for .

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Very common. I know several that are sad because they didn't have children and cling to the hope of kids in the panda-petting paradise. I know several that are glad they "disobediently" had children... or had 'accidental' children that are now grown.

Something that has been really painful for these childless couples is that back in the 80s, WT discouraged children with talks and articles such as "Responsible Childbearing in this Time of the End." Now, WT encourages "family study nights" and shows parents and children sitting together... with the parents both counting it as FS time. Great way to rub salt in the wounds of those most obedient to their earlier direction. Similar with those that stayed single in order to be useful to Jehovah's organization during the very last moments of the last days... now going on 30 years for many of us. My cousin was really angry after one WT study that painted us as pathetic, unmarriagable singles that deserved pity from those in the congregation with REAL families. WTH? They sure painted over the fact that it was WT's prophecies that led us to be the pathetic, unmarried, childless people we became.

I know several whose biological clocks are ticking loudly in their ears. From my experience, I'd recommend saying less to them than to anyone else. Get on with your own life. Plan for and have your own happy family. That's what I plan to do.

LongHairGal

BillytheEx-Bethelite:

I am glad I wasn't present for that pukey WT study. I would have walked out. And, sorry, I wasn't desperate enough to choose what was there. (I secretly dated non-JWs because there was nobody there I liked.)

Wow, what condescending bullshit from these morons. I certainly didn't need their false pity. I am single and childless by choice, but they certainly weren't going to benefit from it.

But, my heart sincerely goes out to anybody who really wanted children and squandered their life force and fertility on this worthless sham of a religion waiting for the "new system".

ABibleStudent

MsGrowingGirl20 - I'm thinking....Anything that I want to send them or tell them will just be interpreted as apostate. They will mentally go into 'block' mode and I would be df. Not that i really care but I want to still be able to talk to them.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite - Something that has been really painful for these childless couples is that back in the 80s, WT discouraged children with talks and articles such as "Responsible Childbearing in this Time of the End." Now, WT encourages "family study nights" and shows parents and children sitting together... with the parents both counting it as FS time. Great way to rub salt in the wounds of those most obedient to their earlier direction. Similar with those that stayed single in order to be useful to Jehovah's organization during the very last moments of the last days... now going on 30 years for many of us.

Hi MsGrowingGirl20, I'm really torn about making comments to this thread. I agree with Billy the Ex-Bethelite's opinion about you moving on and having a wonderful life. I would rather help JWs to critically think for themselves, rather than help JWs to imprison innocent minds with the WTBTS's BITE control.

If your friends are "Spiritually Weak" (still thinking) and are not a financial drain to government programs, how would they react to you writing to them about if they remember how you both use to talk about not having kids when you were younger when Armageddon was coming so soon. Since the WTBTS is encouraging having family study nights, have they changed their minds about having children considering the new light about overlapping generations? If you are thinking about having children now, then write about how you are looking forward to having children. I do feel that it is possible to write to your friends in such a way that it will not raise their WTBTS shields as long as you do not write anything negative about the WTBTS and refer to WTBTS propaganda to justify your position.

If your friends are "Spiritually Strong" or a financial drain to government programs, I would not encourage them to have children.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

MsGrowingGirl20

Thank you all.

Actually Robert, they are both 'spiritually strong pioneers' and are both regular pioneers.

But I get your point about subtle ways and language. I just wonder if it will work or get through to them and if it does, will it be fast enough. But if its the best I have then...

ABibleStudent

Hi MsGrowingGirl20, Don't live your life with regrets. Just remember that helping your friends to overcome BITE control to decide to have children is a two-edge sword. You will not regret trying to help them to decide to have children, but you may regret that their children are raised as JWs.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Stealth

The following quote if from the book Children published in 1941 by the Watchtower.

"No children were taken on Noah's ark or were born on the ark...this would show it to be proper to wait until after Armegedon to bring children into this world...it is only a few years from the time the other sheep are gathered to the Lord, until Armagedon...those who have infants during Armagedon will have much greater woe...it would be a far greater difficulty to care for them during the great tribulation..." Children book 1941 p.281

Many of the JWs who took to heart these statements are now dead.

Zealous Witnesses who never had children and regret it now.

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