Zealous Witnesses who never had children and regret it now.

by MsGrowingGirl20 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • jam

    This morning I played a round of golf with a 88 year old golfer and

    his 26 year old grandson. How beautiful is that.

  • TotallyADD

    I don't know about this. What Reopened Mind and I are going through having children in this cult might not be a good idea. This cult really messes up childrens thinking. I know. We are learning the hard way. Totally ADD

  • Jim_TX

    Well... I came from a family that was screwed up a bit... none of my siblings were interested in leaving home, dating, getting married, having children, etc - in this 'old system.

    When I say 'screwed up', perhaps I should explain. When I was a kiddo, my whole family was involved in a car accident that killed my dad, and one of my sisters. so, the entire family went into a 'holding pattern' waiting for Armageddon to arrive, then the resurrection, so they could all be reunited again.

    One statement that one of my sisters made to a fellow JW once upon a time was (paraphrasing), "I want my daddy to walk me down the aisle in the new system." when I parrotted that statement to her last year, she denied making it, but I remember it. It really made me think, and also plan my escape from that nut house.

    Most of my family and siblings are now gone... I just have two brothers left (one actually left home and got married - against our mother's wishes), and one sister (the one who made that statement). They are still living at home... just the two of them... my sister in her 60's, and my younger brother in his 50's. Never dated... never married. Still waiting.

    But this brings up a conundrum in that organization. They always 'recommend' the young people to stay single. So the kiddos get married. So they then 'recommend' that they stay childless, and instead pioneer. Which usually goes unheeded, and they have kids.

    Well, I am personally familiar with a fella who was single. He was in his 40's - or so. He had a gal pal who was a pioneer. They spent time together when they could. Well, this fella wasn't an 'elder'. According to the powers that be, he wasn't going to be one, either, unless he was married. So, reluctantly (he was a bachelor - having been married & divorced years before), he got married to this gal pal. Later, they informed him that he needed to have children so that he would be better equipped to deal with the 'congregation'. So... already nearing 50, he had kids. I may not have the ages 100% correct, but he weren't no spring chicken... and neither was his gal pal.

    Oh - he got his 'promotion'. Became an 'elder'.

    So... while they preach at ya, telling ya to stay single... if you do, don't expect to progress up the chain of command. Of course, this may have been only locally... but I don't think my single brother has gotten too far in that organization. (But that may be due to other reasons.)


    Jim TX - Oh... I left home when I was 21, and dated, got married... etc. No waiting for the magic armageddon for me...

  • steve2

    Jim - very moved by your overview of the way armageddon has shaped your immediate family - especially after the tragic auto accident taking your father and sister. Talk about the family's life being on 'hold' - and great that you got out.

  • NVR2L8

    Everything in life that brings me happiness results from disobeying the WT...while everything causing me grief is a direct consequence from believing their BS. I got married in 1973...some brothers and JW relatives refused to attend our wedding because it was not right to get married so close to the end...40 years later I'm still in love with my wife...we decided to have children against the instructions from the society...today these children and grandchildren are the joy of our lives. I didn't pursue my education because it was discouraged by the WT...I always felt I had to work twice as hard as the others to make it to where I am today.

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    I would say there are plenty, too many to count of witnesses who never had children who regret now. Sad but that's the price they'll pay for being followers of men!

  • LisaRose

    I'm t hinking....Anything that I want to send them or tell them will just be interpreted as apostate. They will mentally go into 'block' mode and I would be df. Not that i really care but I want to still be able to talk to them .

    You are probably correct that you cannot tell them anything, not only would they probably not talk to you after that, but really, it's kind of intrusive to tell someone they are wrong in their life's choices. What you could do is ask questions. You could say that you are making decisions about your life (well, you are fading, right?) , and you want to know if they are happy with their choices, or if they regret not having children. If you really want to push the envelope, you could ask if the end of the system doesn't come when they expect it, would they regret not having children.

  • Splash

    We have a number of middle aged to older sisters in our congregation who have never married.

    I don't know any other organisation which would do this.

    Even the Moonies arranged multi-couple weddings.

    It's one of the things which saddens me the most.


  • bildad
  • bildad

    The following quote if from the book Children published in 1941 by the Watchtower.

    "No children were taken on Noah's ark or were born on the ark...this would show it to be proper to wait until after Armegedon to bring children into this world...it is only a few years from the time the other sheep are gathered to the Lord, until Armagedon...those who have infants during Armagedon will have much greater woe...it would be a far greater difficulty to care for them during the great tribulation..." Children book 1941 p.281

    This quote is basically accurate. However, I checked in my copy of Children book and found this info on p 312. Just in case someone else checked and said it was not in the book.

    Pretty interesting reading and very different format from most of Rutherford's writings that I have seen. John and Eunice (the characters portrayed in the book) would be 90 now, still unmarried, and if following advice in this book, they would still be living with their individualparents.

    Wonder how that is working out for them!

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