Hi, I've been lurking on this site for quite a while after recently having doubts about the "truth". I've read a lot of posts about problems with the doctrines, mind control, the beliefs, brainwashing that Jehovah's Witnesses and their literature, as well as their history. Now only being a sixteen year old born in who isn't baptized or unbaptized, I've come to find all this information incredibly overwhelming. I've always wondered about things in different areas, like why people should mindlessly devote their lives and themselves to Jehoavh without critical thought. Despite this, I only really started having doubts about a month or two ago when I started to become very close friends with a "worldly" boy who was interested in me and my religion, but decided the religion wasn't for him.
I am just finding all this information hard to deal with, especially since I still have to attend meetings with the rest of my family and act like everything is the same (although I expressed to my parents that I don't have, and probably never will have, a desire to be in the religion). I'm finding it very difficult to get out of the mindset that I have the "true religion" and all of the rest of the typical brainwashed Jehovah's Witness thoughts.
I have a plan to get out: slowly drift from the other young ones in the religion (which isn't too much of a problem considering I don't have all too many friends there anyway), finish high school (preferrably without getting kicked of home, but if push comes to shove, I have a very close worldly best friend whose mum would let me live with them), take a year off and save up money for university and cease going to meetings, go to university and live on campus, then whatever comes after that.
What I need help with is how to deal with these incredibly overwhelming emotions that I'm doing something wrong by wanting to leave, how to become more independent from my family (I'm very dependent, even in small areas), how to deal with continuing going to meetings, and how to prove to myself that this is not the true religion as it claims to be. Help please?