The answer is "C"

by teejay 13 Replies latest social humour

  • teejay
    teejay

    Although this is a test for men only and all men answer "C" to all of these questions, women can also benefit by reviewing them so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.

    1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.

    You decide to:
    * A. Present it to the President of the United States.
    * B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
    * C. Take it apart.

    2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
    * A. Innocence.
    * B. Idealism.
    * C. Cherry bombs.

    3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
    * A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
    * B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
    * C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

    4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
    * A. A cat.
    * B. A dog.
    * C. A dog that eats cats.

    5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
    * A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
    * B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
    * C. That you cannot believe the Bears called a draw play on third and seventeen.

    6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
    * A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
    * B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
    * C. Tell her what?

    7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
    * A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
    * B. "They're in school already?"
    * C. "There are three of them?"

    8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
    * A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
    * B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
    * C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear.

    9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
    * A. He was being tested.
    * B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
    * C. He refused to ask for directions.

    10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
    * A. Democracy.
    * B. Religion.
    * C. Remote control.

    ________________
    DISCLAIMER: The preceding was presented only as a joke – something to find amusement with. The author of this thread may or may not agree with any and/or all of the jokes. Either way, his views respective these gags are irrelevant. This is a joke.

  • closer2fine
    closer2fine

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha too true.

    closer

    Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
    Sand and water, and a million years gone by - beth nielsen chapman

  • waiting
    waiting

    True story time,

    * C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear.
    I've had many pups in the last couple of months, which means going through many cleanup pee rags. My husband helps me with this chore. Finally, he noticed "Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, these are my undershirts! I was wondering where they went," all the while with this confused, hurt look on his face. (He's such a cutie).

    I explained that the foot-wide holes in the armpit region should have been a clue to throw the things away, and then the confused look again..."But they're comfortable that way....."

    He then asked that the next time I toss his underwear to the rag bag, please let him know so he just doesn't think they "disappeared". Which actually might mean he looks for them - like I don't wash, fold, and put them away for him.....duh!

    I agreed, we hugged, and the crisis was diverted back to multiple peeing pups. Such is married life, eh?

    waiting

  • larc
    larc

    Hey Waiting,

    Why do women have a need to fold underwear? Just empty a pile of clean underwear from the laundry basket to the drawer. Would save a lot of time.

    For people who like this kind of humor, Dave Barry's, A Complete Guid to Guys, is a must read. If all newly weds of both genders would read it, it would cut our divorce rate.

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    teejay,

    Yep. I got all "C's" on that one! There weren't any other correct answers!

    Farkel

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    waiting...are you married to my husband?! The holes in the armpits that make it "comfortable" are too funny!

    He also has an emotional attachment to some....from college!! He refuses to not wear them and throw them out because of the memories!

  • Solace
    Solace

    teejay,
    I loved it!
    I think my man knows we have two children although Im not sure he would get them both ready for school. We have been married long enough for me to know better than to ask him anything during a football game. He is a DIEHARD Packer fan. The worst kind!! I knew this and accepted them as his first love when we married.

  • teejay
    teejay

    When I read through this the very first time, by the time I got to number four I began to sense a sexist plot unfolding before me. Like Farkel, I discovered that “C” was the best answer. What’s up with that?

    See... what had happened was...
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
    He then asked that the next time I toss his underwear to the rag bag, please let him know so he just doesn't think they "disappeared". Which actually might mean he looks for them - like I don't wash, fold, and put them away for him.....duh!

    waiting,

    I don’t think wives will EVER understand. See, it’s not y’alls job to go through our most important, precious stuff and decide what is and isn’t trash. What if WE did that? Huh? Huh?

    -----------------------
    Yep. I got all "C's" on that one! There weren't any other correct answers!

    That’s what *I’m* talking ‘bout, Farkel! It’s a communist plot, I tell ya!

    -----------------------
    He also has an emotional attachment to some....from college!! He refuses to not wear them and throw them out because of the memories!

    puffsrule,

    (please see my comment to waiting)

    -----------------------
    We have been married long enough for me to know better than to ask him anything during a football game. He is a DIEHARD Packer fan.

    Way to go, Mr. Heaven!

    I must say: the man definitely has his priorities in order. A dubious choice of teams, however (Go Cowboys!!) but heck!... nobody’s perfect.

  • Solace
    Solace

    teejay,
    I dont mind actually because Im also busy watching the guys in those tight pants!

    Im still ticks me off that Mark Chumura turned out to be such a pervert going after those young girls and getting booted out.
    Who cares if he wasnt playing well. He was the hottest guy on the team!
    When was that draft again?

  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    LOLOL ahh this explains so MUCH! :)

    regarding football, i was trained well ;) no talking about anything NOT football related during game. but i love football so that wasn't a hard "rule" for me hehe.

    A good friend is someone who will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was f**king awesome."

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