by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 32 Replies latest jw friends
Not that I can go back and change it, but I kind of blew it on happiness vs. depression.
I played the happy JW with a purpose in life. My depression was deep-seated and I learned to keep it down inside me.
When I finally dealt with it upon fading, my JW wife could lump it in with my "leaving Jehovah."
But I had to get out of there. In the long run, that was best.
ohnightdivine: "Now, after learning TTATT, I became severely depressed for almost a month. Not doing anything, not taking good care of my house, myself, I was literally stuck feeling all alone and empty. And I gained a lot of weight."
There is a very real grieving process that many of us experience when we learn TTATT. It's as if your pet lion and panda died, your dream house just burnt down, and you were informed that you have a fatal disease. That's how I felt. It took time. I was on medication. I got counselling. Then I realized that I wasn't suffering because of learning TTATT, it was because I was recovering from a delusion. Lions and pandas are better off in the zoo, and I wouldn't want to have to feed and clean up after them anyway. The WT dream house was part kingdom hall, part sweatshop filled with spycams, no entertainment except for the continuous drone of Kingdumb Maladies. And the fatal disease probably won't affect me for another 30 years. Why waste all that time in misery?
Hang in there OND!
Love your posts Billy.
