Delayed depression..

by Oculos Aperire 27 Replies latest members private

• 

  return of parakeet

  See a doctor at once. Make the appointment now. You will need medication and probably a new counselor since the one you have doesn't understand what you're going through. Depression seems to be a rite of passage when one leaves a cult. I needed hospitalization for 2 months for major depression shortly after I left the dubs.

  Start socializing. I know it's hard even to get out of bed when you're severely depressed, but force yourself to attend a book club, health club, take a class in something, anything that will allow you to get out among real people.

  When you're feeling better, I suggest you consider moving to a different town to diminish the problem of running into former dub acquaintances. Moving to another state or province is even better, if you can manage it.

  If you have dub family, contact them when you're over the worst of your suffering. Some may still want to stay in contact with you (on your terms, though, not theirs).

  Good luck to you.
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  Are you on the East Coast of the USA?

  There probably are some xJW's in your area.

  If you don't feel comfortable for a meet-up, I am sure there are some that would be happy to PM (private message) you and talk on the telephone.

  When I started on JWN almost a year ago, I was falling apart. 3rdGen PM me and gave me her phone number to talk. It helped me immensely. We even had old friends in common.

  The point is. Ex-JW's are GOOD PEOPLE that smartened up, or according to JW rules, screwed up, and either were given the boot or just left. We are all human beings with feelings.

  Depression is a given from what we have been through.

  I went to one Therapist when I needed to talk about sex abuse. It is such a forbidden sentence to have the words sex - abuse and - JW's, that I was just a bundle of nerves. When I said the forbidden sentence of words, her comment was, "Take a number. Get in line. All religions have that". What? I was shocked.

  I take it you are a man? Maybe someone will reach out to you in a PM and say, "Give me a call". I know it really helped when someone did that for me.

  Just Lois in The North Pacific
• 

  JakeM2012

  Oculos, I was raised in the cult and I've suffered from depression for years also. I can tell you that I do know your pain. It will get better, you will have good days and bad days. It does take time until you feel you can trust someone. I have also worked with several therapists, I would encourage this. As far a the anti-depressant meds, I've tried most over the years, and they can make you feel better, sometimes the meds just make you numb. My experience is that they are not "majic pills" and the underlying issues have to be dealt with therapy. Things will get better. Thanks for sharing:)
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Seek professional help! Go to your doctor and see if there are any subsidies available where you live for visits to a psychologist. You will see that you are not the bad guy, just a person who's reacting to a bad set of circumstances. You may also have post traumatic stress disorder. In which country do you live? If you are in Australia, I can tell you all the ropes.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  OA, Your feelings sound like the "Grieving Phase" that I went through. For me, I suffered from severe depression while I was "in" and was on anti-depressants. When I moved away to university, I got excellent professional counselling, was very busy with classes, and was making some new friends. But many weekends, I found myself with the blahs. It was very much like depression, but also different. There was a sadness at losing so many "friends", not having fun things to do with people to cheer me up.

  But the fact of the matter was, I started enjoying my time alone. And I have so much more free time without all the JW rat race. As far as losing old friends, JW friends weren't that great of companions anyway. I felt lonely and isolated when I was in good standing in the congo. And often when I start feeling sorry for myself, I come here on the forum and read about what others are suffering through. Then I don't feel that I have it so bad.

  Other than finding another counsellor that you click with, I'm not sure what to suggest. Want to move away and enroll in university like I did?
• 

  happy@last

  You are not alone in your feelings, I would also suggest getting help, either from a counsellor or by reading up on PTSD, as it seems you are suffering symptoms of this. It is totally understandable, what you once believed to be right and true, on solid ground, is now completely seen to be a lie. You now question everything, however rest assured there are some very genuine and loving people out here in the 'big bad world'. Look for new interests, there are hundreds of ways to occupy your time, try something new, find the real you. Best of luck, and keep us posted on your progress.
• 

  yadda yadda 2

  Join your local Rotary Club if you have one, they are friendly, humanitarian and totally non-religious.
• 

  Heartofaboy

  Good morning Oculos Aperire.

  I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling.

  It has taken me sometime to realise I now have real friends.

  They aren't JW's, they accept for who I am............people who's friendship is not conditional on reverance of the GB or the JW organisation, the hours trudging from door to door with the 'good news' or the number of times your hand is picked for you to contribute to the boasting sessions.

  Others have described it as like a bereavement when you realise the the Watchtower 'Truth' is nothing of the sort especially after investing so much of your life & energy in it.

  My brother is struggling with feelings like yours after a lifetime in the borg.

  Wish I could be of more help..........all I know is it does take time to heal.

  My fondest wishes to you.

  Hoab
• 

  Heartofaboy

  Billy I always enjoy your posts so pleased you are on the forum you make me LOL

  Without realising it I think we all help each other a little even though our posts aren't always commented on.
• 

  Aunt Fancy

  Don't give up. Your therapist is not qualified to handle this situation. You might want to check with Steve Hassen to see if he knows of someone in your area that deals with cult exit counceling. Getting the right person is the key to getting better and living a full life. We were very fortunate to have found the one we have and she has helped us so much. It is lonely and hard to trust others because we were isolated to just that group for so many years and then we were told "wordly" people were bad. Have you read Steve Hassen's books? I would suggest you read those.

  You also need to get to the point where you will never allow them to control you life again. That means you can freely go out of your home and if you choose to say Hi then it is your choice. Don't let them guilt you and make you so afraid to be outside. You have as much right as they do to be in the stores or whatever else you find pleasure in. In reality, what is the worse thing they can do to you? They can't take you life so go out and live it. We all know we will be the topic of their conversations until something juicer comes along. Who really cares what they think! They aren't part of your life any longer and what they think doesn't matter because you know the real "truth".

  Please seak a very good therapist and if you need to call a few and ask them for someone who specializes in cult recovery because it is worth it's weight in gold. You will begin to live a fulfilling life again once you get the proper person.

  i too was on anti depressants for 30 years and right before I came to the decision this was nothing but BS I started to come off of them and then I left and I started to feel even better. I switched from the chemicals to all natural ones and I feel better than I have in 30 years. I had a good doctor, therapist and natural doctor and it has all come together for me. So don't give up!! You deserve to be happy and healthy. I can honestly say the depression is gone. I will get a blue day when one of them calls me or stops by or I read something from one of the sites but that is just living life. We all have a day here and there where we are down but that is different than depression every day of your life and being confined to the house because you are afraid to go out. I had plenty of those and it was all caused by this cult.

  i wish you the best!