Introducing Myself

by DilloTrace 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • DilloTrace

    Hello everyone,

    I'm new to this forum and wanted to give everyone a shout out. I've been a silent observer of this forum for a long time, but now I feel it's time for me to break the silence and get involved. I've been inactive since November of last year. At first, I was turned off by a number of "stumbling" actions by my "brothers and sisters." Then doctrinal doubts came up, but they were subtle. For example, I started questioning little things like, why can't sisters pass the mics? That's not teaching the congregation. Then it progressed to things like questioning whats really wrong with celebrating birthdays, which I was able to prove to myself that the practice in itself is not wrong. More recently, I've been reading Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz, which has enlightened me a lot, but I still have more left to go and will probably have to read it again. It sure takes a long time to research over 20 years worth of indoctrination and sometimes just the monotony of life alone can get in the way. However, I am at a point where I just don't feel that I can give of myself to the Congo anymore. Even if everything I've been taught isn't false and I discover that, I just can't do it right now! I can't read another mind-numbing publication, I can't sit through another meeting, assembly, or convention and be told that God has the right to control every single thing I do. I especially can't take going out in service, hoping I don't get paired with that annoying brother or sister, or riding around in the car for 15-20 mins then knocking on doors in the sweltering heat (its extremely hot where I live) only for no one to be home. Besides, I've never been a people person, so nothing about the Witness life fits my personality. The sheer culture of being a witness is completely wrong for me. But anyways, kind of gives you an idea of where I'm at right now. I'd love to hear from you folks soon.


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Sorry but we've already exceeded our quota of new members. Please come back next week.

    ....Just kidding...

    WELCOME DT! Always room for another!

  • NeverKnew

    Hey, Dillotrace!

    Welcome! Excited to have yet another perspective in a forum where everyone's perspective is entirely right and entirely wrong all in one thread!

  • Captain Obvious
    Captain Obvious

    Welcome! You are among friends here. Looking forward to hearing more from you

  • Simon

    Welcome to the forum!

  • problemaddict

    Welcome DT. I always find it interestig that someone being jerk or treating others without respect, end up being the catalyst for people to look into their doctrine, and not the other way around. It is very common here.

    Either way, its good to have you. Have they come after you yet? Its been over 6 months!

  • Giordano

    Welcome DilloTrace! Sister's handling the mic's way because......because??????nevermind.

  • neverscreamagain

    Welcome and greetings from sweltering Texas!

  • PaintedToeNail

    Welcome! It is rather difficult not being a people person and trying to go out in service, isn't it? I had the same problem.

  • LisaRose

    Welcome, I felt the same way about the culture, it went completely against my inclinations. One of the things that helped me get out mentally was the realization that many people in the organization were a very different personality type than me. While I doubt anyone really loves all those meetings and door knocking, it is not as hard for some. I always felt like the square peg in the round hole - I didn't fit. I would never, on my own tell a stranger that they were in the wrong religion, it seemed obnoxious. I finally realized the problem wasn't me, it was the organization. What a relief to not have to pretend anymore. I hated the meetings, they bored me silly. And field service was a stupid waste of a perfectly good Saturday morning.

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