My JW best friend is bringing a 'heavy' around to my house to talk some sense into me.

by Julia Orwell 71 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    when i've had elders in, at times, i've found it works better to sit close and in front of them making sure they give the right answers i am looking for.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    I'm not having any more in my house. Had enough. The more they try to win me back, the more they push me away.

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    handle them in the right way and they won't want to come

  • bigmac
    bigmac

    "You're better off disfellowshipped than trying to be friends with that mob. Look how they've turned on you! Get dfd and get it over with!"

    Excellent advice--i totally agree.

  • Vidqun
    Vidqun

    Sorry, Julia, there goes your blood sugar. Believe it or not, this type of thing is bad for your health. If you take your blood sugar and blood pressure when you're under such duress, you will get a big surprise. The body goes into "fight or flight" mode. This is to help you get out of such circumstances once or twice a year. But to allow your body to regularly undergo such punishment is bad news. This just touches on phsyiological effects, not even mentioning the emotional effects to those close to you. So, this type of confrontation should be avoided at all costs. And as you said, it is not worth the effort. As the general advice goes, ditch conditional friends and start afresh. Start enjoying your life. Do not look back.

  • Splash
    Splash

    Thanks for sharing Julia.

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    You are dead right, Vidqun. I've been suffering from anxiety disorder for years, which is of course the hypersensitivity of that fight or flight response. It's been considerably less severe since I've stopped going to meetings, and like my dad says, I'm better off without such friends...I have my husband who is my best friend, and my awake JW friend who knows TTATT and it's actually good for her because she can blow off steam to me and not worry about repercussions...her dad claims to be one of the anointed and the July WT disgusts him. So there's another potential friend.

    I actually have a little community page for my bird breeding program with a small following, and there are some really great ladies on there whom I'm starting to get to know pretty well. I know it will be a friendship based on mutual interest in these birds, but at least it's some female company apart from my mother! Whom I love- but feeling the need for female companionship, that void left by leaving the KH where there's heaps of ready-made female friends.

    Most of them are probably gossiping about me now though.

    Sorry, I'm rambling again. It hurts is all, and here I can unload my thoughts. I truly am amazed at people like Lou Belle and others who really got shafted because of their beliefs. This religion is so cruel.

  • jhine
    jhine

    Julia , I think that your DAd is right .Why do you want to be friends with people who treat you this way ? I have often heard JWs criticise other churches with the phrase " by their fruits they shall be known " Well you have seen the Watchtower fruits first hand . Doesn't sound as if you will lose family or hubby (and you will calm down and forgive him , eventually !)

    I too have been known to punch walls and throw shoes when in a temper , especially a temper born from frustration . So I know where you are coming from .

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    LOL first time my husband has seen me really really angry. I forgive him because I understand where he's coming from. He's a truly wonderful, loving, kind man, and if I can thank being JW for one thing, it's for introducing me to him. He's inactive with me now, and enjoying sleeping in on the weekend, having pancakes for breakfast, tending to his garden, and hanging with my family instead of the WT treadmill. He has a beard too! My friend gave him a hard time for it, but let it be a sign that we're not coming back.

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    Vidqun is right it can be bad for your health.

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