Hi JJ
i really hope your son forgives you for abandoning him when he needed you most, after all you can be disfellowshipped for your posts here alone.
we don't live very long, .70 or 80 years, every single human, 10/10, they all die. So will you, so will your son. Time is short o get things right and to love the people that matter. Rejecting a son to appease elders that don't love you, or to appease a god responsible for slavery, genocide, rape, sexism, war, sacrifice,..... It just doesn't balance out. Your son is more valuable than all those charachters combined, at least he should be...
you have made the hardest decision, you have taken the biggest step. You have decided to dare doubt, dare to question. Now just keep looking, keep reading, keep searching. The information will answer all your questions.
All the best x
Snare xxx
ps phone your son.