just got an email from a jw friend

by outofthelionsden 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • outofthelionsden
    outofthelionsden

    Hi guys, so i got an email form an old jw friend that i haven't seen in a long time , i moved away to another state a few years ago. so she sent me an email to tell me that she found out that i had left "Jehovahs Organization" and that she has been crying for weeks because she always looked up to me ( i was always that kid that pioneered & always had demonstrations and experiences in the district and circuit assemblies) she said that she's not judging me but that she cant believe i would do that , that i know better and that there is no reason ever to leave and hopes that we wake up before its to late....

    i have to respond but i know she wont hear TTATT there deep in, so any suggestions would be appreciated on what to respond.

    ( im so heart broken and tiered at this point)

    I know she is doing it out of love, she's actually the only person that has contacted me, not even my family has done that. the second they found out we had doubts they cut me off as if we were dead.

  • Gojira_101
    Gojira_101

    I feel for you because that is the exact same thing we've been going through. I know you want to try and explain it to her, but she really won't listen or understand. Just before I stopped going to meetings I called my long time childhood friend and just put a few feelers out there to test her out and she was so mind frelled by the WT, it was so sad.

    I know its hard because you want to try and still be friends with the person but as long as WT is there, there can ever really be a true friendship there. I learned that the hard way with another friend of mine who is actually my cousin, I hated to hurt her, but I had to cut all ties because I knew she just wouldn't understand. Plus when she finds out I'm an apostate she would have done the same thing to me.

    Maybe what you can do is write e response but don't send it right away.

    Peace.

    Gojira

  • outofthelionsden
    outofthelionsden

    thanks Gojira 101 for your reply! its so sad that its all or nothing for them so conditional! you know how it is in the jw world gossip spreads like wild fire, so last week i noticed that the majority of my fb friend unfriended me lol , i new that would happen but it still crazy. instead of my family coming and talking to me they just decided to cut me off and tell the world about it. I guess freedom come with a price

  • sir82
    sir82

    If I were in your position and received something like that, I would respond something along these lines:

    Dear X,

    Indeed I am no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

    I discovered some things that made me realize that the God of all the Universe, the Almighty Most High, could not possibly be using the Watchtower Society as his "name people".

    I have no desire to ruin your faith however. If you are happy as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, by all means please continue on that path.

    If you would like to know what I have discovered, please contact me.

    Simple, short, to the point, you explicitly state you don't want to turn them away. from being a JW....yet just enough information so that if your friend has any doubts, they will be virtually compelled to inquire.

    If they do respond, take it slow and easy - avoid doctrinal points, concentrate on clear evidences of WT lying & deception, and the lack of love (which Jesus said would be the primary identifying mark of his followers).

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    What can you really say? Something like.....

    ''I appreciate your concern as I used to feel the same way. I don't want to cause you pain.

    I have not comitted any sin but am following a path and must be true to myself and all those around me.

    One day when you are ready, we can discuss why I no longer wish to worship at the watchtower corporation halls. Until that time I love you unconditionally.

    yours Donald Duck etc etc''

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    I got a similar email about six months ago by a person from my old congregation who started texting me out of nowhere...he talked about how their family misses me so and looked up to me...then ending the email with the classic question, so why did you leave?

    I tried to carefully answer his question and put in a comment that "I am not trying to sway you away from your faith, but this is what really happened" in hopes of making him feel that I was giving him a straightforward answer. His response was much colder then his texts and emails before, he said "I'm sorry that happened to you, just be careful". I never heard from him after that....sometimes you cannot sway your JW friends, they have to come to TTATT on their own.

    I was still happy with my email response to him, I did express that I cared for his family, wished the best for them, and would be there anytime that they needed help. I also got to say that the WT lies when they say that those who leave are unhappy and unfulfilled, I wrote that the opposite was true and that for the first time I feel like a happy well-balanced woman. Maybe it made him think, or maybe put him into cult panic mode...I have no idea.

    CHG

  • outofthelionsden
    outofthelionsden

    Thanks everyone for your suggestions! i know im going to have to reply today to her, i dont want to tell her too much info so ill keep it loving & short to the point ill let you guys know how it goes

  • Emery
    Emery

    That is a tough situation to be in. I wouldn't know what to say but I would make it known that the decision to be one of Jehovah's Witnesses was made in full ignorance of the organization's history. There were many important things held from me prior to making an informed decision to be baptized in the faith. The organization requires transparency out of it's members, yet they do not provide the same in return.

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    This is rather long and probably won't help to someone that is completely immersed but.........

    The book The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life (p13) says "We need to examine, not only what we personally believe, but also what is taught by any religious organization". The Awake of October 22, 1973 (p6) says "Reasonable persons agree that the only fair method is to examine the evidence on both sides, both for and against a disputed theory. That is how one arrives at the truth." The bible tells us to "make sure of ALL things". Not SOME things. The bible mentions the Bereans in the 17th chapter of Acts. Yes, they accepted the word, but not without careful examination.

    Yet conversely you can also find the following sentiments within the society's publications: " Since our Lord has used the Faithful and Discreet Slave to convey to us the saying of everlasting life, why should we look elsewhere?" (Nov 1, 1987 WT p20). Or the Jan 15, 1983 Watchtower (p22) that says "Avoid questioning the counsel provided by God's visible organization".

    I was calling on a return visit one day who had studied with witnesses in the past. He posed an interesting question. He asked, "why is it that you folks tell others you meet in your ministry that they shouldn't be afraid to examine their religion, their beliefs, their faith etc....because if their religion is true.....then careful examination should prove that. Yet when it comes to examining your own beliefs, you will only consider information that is expressly approved by your leadership? You're not allowed to look at anything from a former member. You're not allowed to look at anything that is critical of your religious beliefs. Even reviewing older publications that were written by your own members is frowned upon because it isn't up to date! That is hypocritical, isn't it?"

    He made a very good point. I didn't want to look at anything that could be considered even remotely apostate, so I did just as he said I would. I refused to read anything written by apostates or anything critical of the society. But to prove him wrong......what i did do is research within our own literature. Our kingdom hall library had copies of some of the real old publications. I read the Divine Plan of the Ages and found that CT Russell engaged in the spiritistic practice of pyramidology to help him come up with the year 1914. I read Millions Now Living Will Never Die and The Finished Mystery. These were the publications that were produced right around 1919, when Jesus selected the brothers as the ONLY organization that was fit to be called God's.

    Simply put, so much of what was being taught as truth back then was flat out dead wrong. Truth does not change. Jesus is supposed to have made his selection of the Bible Students because they were providing the RIGHT food at the PROPER time. There is no PROPER time for WRONG food. These publications were eye openers for me.

    In the society's video Faith in Action part 1, Geoffrey Jackson is quoted as saying “once the people saw they were being taught falsehood, it was only logical to withdraw and not give support to religious institutions that were teaching falsehood.” Wouldn’t the same be true today? If I can pick out falsehoods that have been taught by the society over the years, wouldn’t it be logical to withdraw my support? If not, is the reason because the light gets brighter and I should be content to wait for such light? If that is the case can’t any religious order claim the same about their doctrines both past and present? Furthermore where is the scriptural precedent that says that Jehovah would send forth his holy spirit to direct a falsehood, to act as a makeweight, until the actual truth could later be revealed? Read Proverbs the 4 th chapter again. Read the entire chapter. What is it about that chapter that makes you believe that it is more than just a proverb? What is it about that chapter that makes you believe it should be applied as though it were a prophesy? What is it about that chapter that makes you believe it should only apply to the governing body? If the light truly gets brighter and the truths that Jesus approved as “food at the proper time” back in the early 20 th century can no longer be trusted as being “truthful” today, then how can I be sure that the “truth” I am learning today won’t similarly be regarded as outdated a few years from now? And if you cannot guarantee that the “truths” I am learning today won’t someday be regarded as “past truths” that should no longer be followed, then why should I or anybody else be subject to disfellowshipping for failing to follow them?

    These are questions that nobody has been able to answer for me. In fact, I've been told that I shouldn't be "critically thinking about the past". But when the very foundation of my faith rests on it, how can I not?

  • Comatose
    Comatose

    It's up to you. Each situation is different. I just got an email the other day, that I read once and deleted. Deleting and moving on can be very powerful. There isn't anything that can be said that will suffice. They are choosing to live in the past in a mind warped cult. Their pain or sadness isn't your fault and isn't controllable by you. You know best, follow your gut, but remember that no matter what that email said, deleting it is so simple and so rewarding.

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