Hello All,
I thought it was time for a formal introduction. I've lurked here for literally years, sometimes posting sometimes not. But I've never told my story and now seems as good a time as any. Hopefully my story will help you who are fading and it's cathartic as well for me. My great grandmother was the first in our family to be contacted by the Bible Students. That makes me a fourth generation born in. There are also two generations more who have the questionable distinction of still being in, although this religion is a shadow of what it once was.
I remember in my teenage years being at the bookstudy doing the Finished Mystery book and thinking this was a load of crap. Really? The U.N. attacking religion? I went along with it though, because duh, I was a teenager still living with the Presiding Overseer. Also, I had some respect for a religious group of people who tried to live a moral life because I could see so many around me whose lives ended up in a morass of drugs and bad relationships. So I went along with the flow.
I went to Bethel and came back, became a MS and then married my best friend and love of my life, the best decision I ever made. My wife was also a real believer. Twenty years of full time service. ( I hate that lingo) We both had parts on Int'l, district and circuit assy's. (Not bragging, just letting you know how heavily we were drinking the kool-aid) Later became an elder and had two terrific kids.
When our first child was eight, despite having no real college, I somehow landed a good job that required us to move several states away from our hometown. Said job also required alot of travel. I was appointed in our new congregation as an elder, although I knew it wouldn't last long because of my time away from home and responsibilities in the congregation. I was somewhat relieved to step down, (there's that lingo again) because I was finding it more and more difficult to give parts that I no longer believed in.
At about this same time, I began reading everything I could get my hands on regarding the origins of man. I think Leolalia did a post recently about Noah's flood being debunked by nearly every field of science. The same is literally true regarding the tale of Adam and Eve. To my surprise, I even read a book by Rabbi Harold Kushner that described how even Jews do not take the story literally. This is the one thing that I kept coming back to; if Adam and Eve weren't real then like dominoes, every other belief that stems from this is false. There is no original sin; no serpent bruised; no kingdom etc.
My wife also began to open her eyes to the problems regarding doctrine, and the increasingly obtrusive way the religion inserted itself into everyday life in a pernicious way. Little did I know however that she was distressed that I was increasingly disconnected from the congregation. Her private struggle ended when after years of praying that I have a change of heart, she was told that God doesn't answer the prayers of people with wicked hearts.
It took many years, and lots of patience, but today my wife and I as well as our children have escaped this destructive religion. As I think back, I see how this belief system appeals to those who are frightened by the world around them. It appeals to those who want to think that they have "special knowledge." That makes them better than others around them. It also attempts to control and belittle those whose lives cannot conform to the model set by the group. For all these reasons and too many more to mention, this is a destructive religion. My avatar sums up my feelings; I'd love to ask Charles Taze Russell wtf? Ironically he's been kicked to the curb by the religion he started.
Sadly, I still have some extended family still in and as a family we prefer to not make our stand public. This is perhaps the most destructive aspect of this religion. People you love base their love for you on whether or not you go to meetings regularly. Our hand may be forced because my wife's mother recently sent her a Watchtower with the back handed threat that she will miss her daughter in the new system. Blecch! How nauseating is that?
So, my advice for you who are fading. Be patient with yourself and your family. It may take several years but you will be successful. Keep heart and remain true to your better self.
CTRWTF