July KM - Jehovah's heart scanner in action

by respectful_observer 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    Scanning? What? Like a barcode or ...?

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Who was that started a thread about JW's being the laziest of all religions? Next thing you know they will have their rolly-cart ministry sponsered by Starbucks!!!!!!!

  • JWB
    JWB

    I hardly think that the Omniscient One (OO) would have to do a scan on Someone's Heart (SH)!

    OO: Here comes the next person. SH, do you have anything to declare?

    SH: No, you already know what's in here.

    OO: Well, I'll still have to do a scan.

    SH: Why?

    OO: Well, because its necessary before I can decide whether you should talk to My People at the desk.

    SH: And then?

    OO: If you've got a bad heart, then I'll move you on past My People so as not to waste their time. Otherwise, my Spirit (with the help of the angels of course) will incline you and your host to move into the direction of the desk to discover the latest edition of Truth(tm).

    ---

    For Mary:

    "Its life Jim, but not as we know it!"

  • Robert7
    Robert7

    What a bunch of crap. I recently saw a table set up by JWs at an airport. The two "pioneers" just sat and talked among themselves. WE know that is a complete waste of time, with probably a very very low take rate. THEY think they are holier than thou, doing god's lifesaving work (by sitting and chatting).

    I so badly wanted to approach them and call them on it. If this is your lifesaving work, and if MY life is on the line, then why are you just sitting there chatting? But I was too respectful and let them be.

  • straightshooter
    straightshooter

    Wow is this interesting. It is a wait and see if a passerby has a question or interest, instead of approaching others with the message. This is definitely less annoying to the passerby than being asked if they are interested in something when they are not.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    But, if Jehovah is all knowing and made us . . . why would he need the JWs or even have to scan hearts?

  • AndDontCallMeShirley
    AndDontCallMeShirley

    People, it's common knowledge: The Almighty God cannot scan any person's heart unless they pass directly in front of a WT table manned by two Pioneers on coffee break all day. If you are a person unlucky enough to not have a "heart scanner table" in your area, you're SOL, my friend.

    So, how was God able to scan anyone's heart prior to the "lazy pioneering" arrangement? One can only "imagine".

    In WT Land: 10,000 people walked past our magic table today; one of them stopped (to ask directions). The Lord certainly is "speeding up the work" in these last days!

  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    Well, we have a problem already.

    The heart scanner is a downloaded app for an Iphone. You have to download it for $2.99.

    But, the problem is that you can't use your Iphone out in the ministry.

  • St George of England
    St George of England
    Oh how I want to come across one of these little cult carts!

    Cantleave you have a PM

    George

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    “Would you like someone to

    visit your home?”

    Now, how many people are going to respond to that? I think that would be 99.999999999999999% no way!

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