Un-friending JW Facebook Friends-Therapy

by nicsfreedom 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • nicsfreedom
    nicsfreedom

    It may sound harsh but I am finding it therapeutic to unfriend my JW friends today on facebook. I just can't live in the past anymore. So sick of the drama, spying and having to pretend to be something I am not. I am debating keeping some including my brother so they can see that I am happy after leaving and that there is hope once you are on the outside. I will likely get unfriended based on my activity but is it worth the risks/drama? Has anyone else had to make this difficult decision. It might be the only way I can have contact with a few of the people I care about that are still in.

    Thoughts? Txs.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I have absolutely no JW Facebook friends. I am free to be myself on Facebook. But I also don't have anything to do with my old JW friends anymore. I tried to retain my best friend, but it didn't work out. He pretended he was still a friend, but I pinned him down and made him admit that what he meant as "friend" was that if I were to return to Jehovah, he would be there for me.

    Not everyone has to lose all their JW friends, but many find it easier to do just that and get all new friends.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Hi, nics, nice to 'read' you. *waves*

    I have exJW friends on my facebook, but they are more than cult survivors -- we share common interests, and support each other. I belong to a few groups, but there are rarely updates about the religion .. I have at least 2 book clubs, a health-freak foodie group, a friend who's a nutritional therapist and MSW, and I am a pagan, and have two freakin' awesome groups of folks who love nature, along with my food friends - we are into nutrition for health, and eating delicious foods ..

    So, I agree with the flavour of what you say,, and will share my own opinion,,, not advice, but how I see it at a middle age.

    Choose to delete those you don't communicate with, and message the ones you know .. keep in touch, and decide who you trust. Trust your gut. Keep the friends, and the ones who don't really know you will never notice you are not on their feed. If they DO, then your red flags go UP, because they never noticed you before,,,

    See? Being internet-savvy has a lot to do with common sense,,, so, think it through,, if you are newly out of the b'Org and don't have a lot of experience. You are not DUMB, you just need education. There is nothing shameful about that.

    Put up a thread here,,, PM a moderator or ask someone you know in RL if they can help you. It's so hard to keep up with today's technology, that I am sure any IT professional on-board will agree with me .. ask for help, it's okay!

    xo

    t

  • talesin
    talesin

    oops .. me and my words ..

    RL = Real Life (ie, people you know face to face)

    and

    MSW = Master's Degree in Social Work...

    sry

    :)

  • JimmyPage
    JimmyPage

    I had a JW friendly account and I just couldn't take all the governing body worship anymore. I deleted most of my JW friends including some relatives. The only ones I kept were the ones who had DF'd friends or who didn't constantly make me want to puke with their pro WT posts.

  • talesin
    talesin

    I had a JW friendly account and I just couldn't take all the governing body worship anymore. I deleted most of my JW friends including some relatives. The only ones I kept were the ones who had DF'd friends or who didn't constantly make me want to puke with their pro WT posts.

    Precisely, JimmyPage! Me, too ... I am not defined by being an exJW.

    t

  • talesin
    talesin

    Oh,, damn...

    just realized I was NOT getting this thread .. sorry,, but not going to delete former comments so folks will be able to see .. no biggie, though. :P

    OOPS

  • talesin
    talesin

    to the OP ...

    I lost all my friends ... my family is not close .. we didn't have facebook back then (ack, that makes me feel old,, haha) ... BUT 2 years ago I found my old BEST gurl from when we were kids .. and we lived together as pioneers..

    I was so happy!

    She leads a double life, and was so paranoid, I had to let it go, and unfriend her.

    After so many years out of the b'Org, I found her ... then lost her .. it is fresh, so I am feeling your loss. xoxo

    t

  • Brother of the Hawk
    Brother of the Hawk

    that is what Newly enlightened and I also did. So many little secrets are exposed on face book if you are not carefull. And we no longer wanted to be all excited about their "GREAT" door to door exp. Or their trips to Mexico, or where they went racing this weekend. I would much rather spend that time with quality people,.

    Affectionately: Brother of the Hawk ( I will surrender my mind no more, forever ).

  • Honeybucket
    Honeybucket

    I did this early in my fade and alot of the witnesses asked me what was wrong. So I left my FB as is and created a new one, with a fake stripper name. It had my picture on it so people that I requested knew it was me. I readded everyone that I wanted. Later into my fade I decided to take back my FB so I got on and deleted all the witnesses and when they sent me friend requests I ignored them. I felt very empowered over this.

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