Men are Like............

by Solace 23 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Solace

  Men are like,

  Lava Lamps.
  Fun to look at, but not very bright.

  Laxatives.
  They irritate the sh*t out of you.

  Bananas.
  The older they get, the less firm they are.

  Vacations.
  They never seem to be long enough.

  Bank machines.
  Once they withdraw, they lose intrest.

  Weather.
  Nothing can be done to change them.

  Cement.
  After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

  Commercials.
  You cant believe a word they say.

  Government Bonds.
  They take so long to mature.

  Horoscopes.
  They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

  Mascara.
  They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

  Popcorn.
  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

  Snowstorms.
  You never know when they are comming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

  Blenders.
  You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

  Parking spots.
  The good ones are all taken and the rest are all handicapped.

  Coffee.
  The best ones are rich, strong, warm and can keep you up all night.
• 

  Solace

  Just in case anyones wondering,
  this is in response to teejays post,
  "From men to women".
  
• 

  COMF

  I don't see a balance of humor here. Teejay's post teases about the difference in natures and ways of thinking. Yours is about personal inadequacy.

  The best ones are rich

  Never mind, I'm starting to get the picture.
• 

  bitter mango

  i have gathered from these gender threads that men are lazy whoring pigs and women are golddigging bitches that shop too much! but each gender has one thing in common, neither can deal with being joked about by the other gender!
  the simple conclusion i've come up with... i hate you all, male or female and i wish i was a cat .

  even after everything
  you're the queen and i'm the king
  nothing else means anything
• 

  Solace

  COMF,
  "I dont see the balance of humor here"
  Uhhhhhh,
  Its called a "JOKE".
  ya' know. Funny ha, ha.
  Oh and,
  Dont even go there,
  teejays post was oozing with hilarious sarcasm and insults directed at women but I guess you would have to be a woman to actually notice them.

  God am I glad my man has a sense of humor.
  He, by the way, found this very funny.
  
• 

  COMF

  neither can deal with being joked about by the other gender!

  Not so, BM! I love to read humor about men along the same line as what Teejay put up. But digs about our typical ways of behaving and thinking are not the same as rejecting our collective and individual worth.

  Here's some stuff that I think is funny:

  Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

  If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?

  Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
  A: Put a pretty blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

  Q: What is the difference between men and women:....
  A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

  Q. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg ?
  A. They don't stop for directions.

  Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
  A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"
• 

  Xena

  Blenders.
  You need one, but you're not quite sure why

  ROFL..I like that one!

  And what a pretty kitty you would be too Mango...(did you note my restraint in not calling you a pussy????)
• 

  COMF

  but I guess you would have to be a woman to actually notice them.

  Uh... yeah, that makes sense.

  God am I glad my man has a sense of humor.
  He, by the way, found this very funny.

  Well, if your man found it very funny, then by god, it's very funny! The rest of us are just inadequate when it comes to humor as well as everything else.
• 

  crownboy

  mango said:
  

  the simple conclusion i've come up with... i hate you all, male or female and i wish i was a cat .

  But don't you as a woman already have a, er, cat?

  Go therefore and baptize the people in the name of the father and of the son... what the hell, we just need to bring up the yearbook numbers!
• 

  WildHorses

  Men and Women are the same. We just need to learn how to be as open with each other as we are with our friends.

  
  

  I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.