thats funny Sinis i'm 45 and still trying to get it out of my system.
Sex before marriage would eliminate a lot of unhappy marriages in the Borg...
by sinis 45 Replies latest jw friends
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mamochan13
At my nephews recent wedding I chatted with a friend and her hubby - they were the only one out of our group of teens who grew up in the WT who are still married, and she admitted that it was an incredibly difficult road.
JW kids marry WAY too young, simply because they can't have sex otherwise. I don't believe sex is the be-all and end-all in a relationship. It's far more important to be friends, to have shared interests, to be compatible in other ways. The system that doesn't allow pre-marital sex blinds people and puts the relationship emphasis in the wrong place.
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BizzyBee
JW kids marry WAY too young, simply because they can't have sex otherwise.
Sad, but true. And then, with having kids, it becomes too difficult to undo. Some just make the best of the situation, though they are clearly unsuited to each other, but frightened of being solo. It takes a great deal of courage to make that leap.
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WTWizard
The same idiots that subscribe to the no-fornication rule would balk about being stuck with a car without testing it. Even if it is reliable, it might be too small, or not powerful enough (or have too much power for your ability), or use too much gas, or not be suitable for your driving style. Yet, a car can be sold if you don't like it or it turns out not suitable (or, if it is a lemon, returned). Supposedly, once you get a mate, it is not swappable.
And there are many problems. What happens if you are not compatible? Especially since the washtowel, and xianity in general, is quick to place guilt on many sex practices. What's so bad about practicing "perverted(??)" sex? Nothing, that's what's so bad. The result is that it becomes boring, resulting in adultery down the road. And, there are so many other factors. Culture difference is one of them. You might think it will work--mixing races, Jew/Gentile, and mixing drastically different nationalities by marriage create these issues. You need to try it to see if it will work in your case before committing and then finding out that you are not compatible. And people can be physically incompatible, especially if restrictions on sex positions are placed on the couple. A physical disability in one or both parties can do this.
And why does sex have to be so taboo in the first place? Is there a valid reason why we have to have so many damn regulations on one of the most natural processes in nature? The taboos on sex would amount to placing a person in a world where everything is black and white. Suppose, despite the ability to enjoy full color vision, all you saw is pure green at 550 nM? Just one frequency, just one color--everything is in that light, and never anything else. And it is a "sin" to get a full spectrum light. Everything is at 550 nM--getting the full range of blue and red is "sinful". Would that enhance your ability to enjoy the light at 550? Or, would you be missing out? The visible spectrum lies between 380 and 760 nM--why not enjoy the full spectrum? Likewise, why not enjoy the full spectrum of sexual enjoyment?
Or, would they rather have people breaking out and molesting children (usually with the goal of ruining their lives)?
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jws
WTWizard wrote:
The same idiots that subscribe to the no-fornication rule would balk about being stuck with a car without testing it. Even if it is reliable, it might be too small, or not powerful enough (or have too much power for your ability), or use too much gas, or not be suitable for your driving style. Yet, a car can be sold if you don't like it or it turns out not suitable (or, if it is a lemon, returned). Supposedly, once you get a mate, it is not swappable.
I personally feel couples should live together before marriage. It's not just sexual compatibility you have to worry about, it's the whole package. Everyone's on their best behavior on a date. When it's real life, you tend to let loose and show more of your true self.
Does he always leave the seat up and is that going to drive her nuts? Does she eat in bed all the time and leave crumbs behind that drive him nuts? It's the day-to-day that you're going to see presumably for the rest of your life.
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TD
I'm not indicating sexual compatibility per se, as much as getting the feeling of sex out of your system, so that when you finally meet someone, after a career has been established and you have lived in the "real world" for a while, you no longer look at that person as a sex object but a fellow human you would like to live a long time with. The problems with the JW's, is that to even associate with a woman, you MUST GET MARRIED. So, you are horny, and young, and find that the only way you get get laid is to get married, which imo is wrong - and ruins many marriages. First, get it out of your system, and then when you find the love of your life, sex is NOT a factor, but the person and how they complement you.
I think I understand what you're saying inasmuch as JW's, Mormons and kindred groups are (ostensibly) virgins at the time of their first marriage. Therefore any kind of sexual experience at all can only be obtained by making one of the most serious of all human commitments. That alone is not a good enough reason to get married.
Where I think I'm lost is at the idea of "get[ting] it (sex) out of your system" [so that] "sex is NOT a factor" "when you find the love of your life".
Marriage is more than a legally binding friendship in most modern traditions. It's inherently a sexual arrangement and there are strict moral, ethical and even legal implications attached as a direct result. If either a husband or wife doesn't feel like taking care of their children, they can hire a nanny. If they don't feel like cleaning the house they can hire a maid. If they don't feel like mowing the lawn, they can hire a landscaper. Sex is different. Sex with anybody else besides our spouse breaches that covenant.
So when either a husband or wife takes the attitude that sex is just, "The icing on the cake" as opposed to a more fundamental part of the cake recipe, like sugar, there's going to be unhappiness, even among so-called 'wordly people'. Anyone who thinks that way should forget marriage and consider just being roommates