WELCOME! Don't think you're the only captain around here fella.
As others have said, take your time... Don't decide on anything. Be objective and let the facts and evidence lead wherever it may. At a point when you're ready to defend and explain yourself, start dropping hints to the wife. Don't be like myself and so many others on here and just dump it all on your poor wife. If her guard is still down, keep it that way. It's your biggest advantage. Personally, I feel I've set myself a good couple of years back by coming on too hard too fast with the missus.
About the atheism thing.... I hear ya bro. I really do. Personally I always knew I would drift that way in one form or another, so I put it off a while. Took my time to fully understand WT teachings and why they are wrong... Tried on the traditional "Christian" shoes. They were comfy, but didn't quite fit.. A little narrow for my taste. It soon becomes apparent that it requires almost the same level of ignorance and flawed logic to work. THEN out came the science books. I also must have watched and listened to dozens of creation debates... Where EVERY single creationist used terrible logic, and was tossed to pieces by their opponent.
I look forward to hearing more from you!