A double life

by raindrops 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome raindrops, You have lots of choices! You can make plans to plant seeds of doubts in your JW family and friends by going to meetings for a year or so; you can go out and make new non-JW friends; you can just give up and just blindly follow the WTBTS's doctrines, be miserable, and wreck your marriage; etc. What is more important to you, your husband and child, or your conditional JW family and friends?

    Have you read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), watched videos of Steve Hassan talking about his methods, and visited his website? If you need to talk with a trained cult exit councelor to help you decide what to do and how to do it, contact Steve Hassan or one of his coaches through his website. Spending a ~$100 now is a lot cheaper than making huge mistakes that adversely affect you, your husband, and your child.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • Athanasius
    Athanasius

    Welcome to the forum.

    You've been given a lot of helpful advice from ones who have been in your situation before. However, there is another possibility. You didn't mention whether your husband is a JW or not. If he's not a JW, because the JWs view the man as the head of the household whether JW or not, he can insist that you and your daughter celebrate birthdays and holidays. Since you are to respect his headship the elders can't do anything if you have a Christmas Tree or your daughter has a birthday party.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Raindrops, Welcome to you and congratulations on your Baby! You sound like a really nice, normal person who is in love with life, and you are overflowing with happiness and want to share that joy with others, in particular, your family. Now that the initial birth is over, you have gotten your rest, and you are ready to face the world. Every new day with your Baby, there is so much love and laughs and delight. You are a loving, sharing person? Yes?

    Scenario #1...If you and your child, get dressed up each week, and go to the Hall, will your family sit with you to "help" or will they act like they don't know you?

    If your family shun you at the Hall, with your sweetheart child in your arms, can you psychically and emotionally, handle the strain?

    Scenario # 2...If they shun you at the Hall, will they come over to the house, if you invite them, to be with you and your child, or will they shun you privately, also?

    Raindrops, you ask a good question. There is no easy answer.

    Please keep us posted. And give that sweet child, a hug and kiss from cyberspace Aunt Lois, who would be so proud, to have a grandchild. All the Best.

    Just Lois

  • Thor
    Thor

    Hello raindrops and welcome!

    Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl!!! It is such an exciting time in life! (and you should be surrounded by positive, loving people)

    Thankfully she is young enough so you can take a little time to think things out. I wish you success and happiness in your future with your husband and baby! I don't think you would ever regret putting the three of you first in your decision making.

    Mrs. Thor

  • just Ron
    just Ron

    Let your husband be the fall guy for the holidays if he is not a wittness. Say he makes you do it and he is the head of the household. so you must obey.

    just Ron

  • Rattigan350
    Rattigan350
    ",I want to celebrate holidays "

    Why? You want to be an idiot brainless follower, not of the WTS, but of the holiday creators?

    Sheesh.

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Holidays are more about being with family, special occasions and a day off work. It's good for morale. Few if any, people really care about the meaning and origins (outside the fundie mindset). It doesn't really matter anyways

    As for a double life, I understand why you might consider it but consider the example you may be setting for your daughter. To thine own self be true.

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    I wasn't aware that the holiday creators were looking for followers. Aren't they dead? And if they were still alive, what would they being trying to compel us to do in service to them? I'm confused, unless you meant to say, "not of the WTS, but of the demons that are lurking in your Christmas tree"?

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    While i feel for your predicament, i wonder about the root motive for you wanting your child exposed to the jw parents. Is it for your own feeling of worth in their eyes? Is it for the kid? If its something for you, then, i question it. You have value and so does your child and husband. You can take pride in yourself and your family. You don't need the validation of parents who are emotionaly and mentally sick in a cult.

    S

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