How do I tell my husband?

by dissonance_resolved 59 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Off topic----->Aunt Fancy...You really have a smart husband. Not only did he marry you but he only needed to read the first three chapters of C of C to see the real truth and leave. Have you 2 been able to influence any others?

    Just Lois

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    read the book "captives of a concept" by don cameron. Your husband does not have to be "gung ho" in order to still be under the control of the organization. He is likely still "captive" to the concept that this is somehow someway still God's organization.

    Go VERY slowly. But I will warn you......if he is not ready to see the truth.....he will not allow himself to regardless of how sound your reasoning is or how many facts you present. The only thing you can do is ask sincere questions that he will have to seriously contemplate and research prior to answering you. But even that may not work. I don't mean to rain on your parade but I know from experience. I am going through a divorce because I tried to share what I knew with my wife. Your husband may react the same way my wife did when I asked thought provoking questions to her. "I don't owe you ANY explanation! I will not discuss this with you!"

    Simply put.....if he is not ready to see TTATT......at the very least.....he will clam up and refuse to talk about it. At the very worst....he may accuse you of apostasy, leave, and turn you into the elders (what happened to me)

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    In a few days (end of the week at the latest) I'm going to post the story of our exit on my blog. You might find it interesting.

    http://pathologicallyintellectual.blogspot.com/

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Hi Lois, we have helped his cousin, his former business partner and two childhood friends so far. We want to help his niece by flying her here for a visit with us so we can talk to her in person. They are all very thankful we gave them the book to read because they were haunted for years by the crazy beliefs. We aren't sure what we are going to do next. One of the wives who was never a JW asked me "how did you know that this has haunted him"? She said for years it has been eating at him because he was DF at 15 years of age! Needless to say they were so thankful and so we hope he now will have some peace of mind.

  • flipper
    flipper

    BTTT, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • pixel
    pixel

    Welcome! Lots of good advice here!

  • wallsofjericho
    wallsofjericho
    Oy, this is not going to be easy. We went out to dinner tonight, and he could read me like a book and knew something was wrong. I tried to keep it nonchalant but it didn't end well. Now we have a renewed commitment to be regular at meetings and FS. Sigh.

    UGH!!!!

    This is SO TYPICAL!

    "If your doubting you MUST be weak and we are going to "do better" in the truth from now on"

    what kind of thinker is your husband? does he watch documentaries and science shows or is he all about Seinfeld and 2-1/2 men?

    If he's a science documentary kind of guy then ask him about dinosaurs. If the flood pushed up all the mountains then how did Noah even recognize that he was on Mt. Aararat? How would he have recognized anything about he was?

    If the flood killed the dinosaurs then every fossil ever found existed only 4000 years ago. Why did Noah not save 2 of every dinosaur? Why are they not even mentioned in scripture? Why did Jehovah create giant flesh eating monsters when all life lived in the perfect garden of eden?

    Why is it we can extract good DNA from animals and humans that have been dead for 4000 years but dino DNA is all fragmented and decayed? DNA is supposed to be good up to 100,000 years before its decayed. Why are only dino's affected by this and not 4000 year old mummies and other animals?

    Why do so many people say that 607 BCE is not the destruction of Jerusalem by Babylon when the Society KNOWS it IS 607?

    Sometimes these simple questions start the ball rolling. Don't expound these, just ask the question and change the subject.

    If he is a Seinfeld / 2-1/2 men kind of guy then when you find somehting that works can you tell me???

    woj

  • tresdecu
    tresdecu

    Real quick suggestion, gotta type fast wife is coming down soon..ahhh. I am in the same situation. Trying to tell my wife slowly and carefully that it's all BS. One thing I am working on is trying to slyly get her to watch 'Religulous' a documentary by Bill Mahr (not sure of spelling) a political comedian. Watching it not as a slam against JWs but how "crazy" the worlds religions are...hoping that will get her to think about her own religion. Some very good points are made....shows how goofy religion is. Would like to compose a better post but I'm typing fast....it's on Netflix

  • dissonance_resolved
    dissonance_resolved

    Applied the suggestions here and did much better! I had the opportunity to drop a quick question about the flood and it's driving him crazy! I can see the wheels turning....

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite

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