My girlfr and I went to the Assembly Hall today

by coult9056 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • coult9056

    5 years removed from being inside the Indianapolis Assembly Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, 4 years from attending a meeting at the Kingdom Hall, this morning my girlfriend and I walked into the Assembly Hall. We were taking an early morning walk in our jogging clothes in downtown Indy. She asked if there was anywhere I'd like to go. I said, Yes. Let's head that way and see the assembly hall. It was only 8:30, so few people were there. As we approached, I saw the 6-8 brothers doing parking lot duty as I used to do. We walked in the front doors, and of course stuck out like a sore thumb. The bright red and black outfits we were wearing were easy to spot. We walked up the center steps to the auditorium and looked around. The building itself is very beautiful, as are the people, (they're just wrong), and my girlfriend was impressed with the blacks and whites who were there worshipping together.
    We attracted attention, and a brother approached and asked if he could help us. I said where I was from and that I used to attend. I mentioned that we were just walking by, and I just wanted to show the building to her. Of course, I was given a program and invited to attend. Thanks anyway, kindly.
    We had a great walk and talk this early morning. I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for those inside whose weekend was spent sitting in those chairs all day, all weekend. Really, it felt like a released prisoner walking through the prison cellblock as a free man. Unfortunately, she thinks I might want to go back someday. I try to explain that it's more like a college alumnus (on my way there)visiting campus. I just want to see it, not get involved again, ever. Even though I was baptized on that pool on that stage. Even though I gave parts on that stage. If I ever walk in there again, I think I'll ask for a resignation form. I'm really ready to make it official. Thanks for letting me ramble.

  • bboyneko

    Yeah ive done stuff like that. Its good to be able to go back and not be affected by it.


    RAMBLE on my dear. Some might refer to your rambling on as remonissing(did I spell that right). There is nothing wrong with retracing your paths that you took through life. As a matter of fact, it takes courage to do this. Ask yourself this, DID YOU GAIN ANYTHING FROM THIS? You probably looked around and remembered how secure all this use to seem and yet thought how useless it really is now. You have grown my dear one and you will continue to grow. Good luck to you and remember all that you learned was not bad.


  • jst2laws

    Hello coult9056,

    I love real stories. You are relatively new here but you are 4 years
    removed from the system. I agree with what you said, "The building itself is very beautiful, as are the people, (they're just wrong)".


    I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for those inside whose weekend was spent sitting in those chairs all day, all weekend. Really, it felt like a released prisoner walking through the prison cellblock as a free man.
    Beautiful. One year ago I was Correctional Officer in that prison, not realizing I was at the same time a cellmate.

    You seem determined to never return. I hope you have read Crisis of Conscience by R Franz.


  • LB

    I'm about 2 1/2 years out now. I wonder if I'll ever have an urge to attend again. Right now I'd say there isn't a chance.

    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • DanTheMan

    Thanks for that experience. Gives me confidence that the pain I'm going through right now as a recent disassociate will eventually subside. One website stated that typical recovery for an ex-dub is 1-5 years. I sure can't imagine walking up to an assembly hall right now. I drove past a KH the other day, I couldn't bear to look at it.

  • jst2laws


    Yes, it the pain will subside. This is not the pain of 'leaving God's organization'. This is the pain of leaving what you believed was God's organization. The grief is real but the consequences non-exitant. But there is no way to escape the grieving process.

    Stick it out. Just read everything you can with an open mind.


  • Marilyn

    Gosh it's lovely to hear the thoughts of so many newly outed (or ousted). I'm 21 yrs disfed for apostasy and the first 15 yrs were without the internet - just me and my husband and no other exjws to talk to. My husband was too busy getting educated (a Phd) but I seemed to go thru every emotional stage possible. Even so I don't think I could go into a KH or Assembly Hall even today. Even though I feel very sorry for JWs and I have absolutely no thoughts that they might be right in any way at all, I just wouldn't want to go into an arena that has caused so me so much pain and emotional suffering (family shunning). The other thing is that whenever I hear their rhetoric it makes me feel sick. I just don't have the patients for it anymore. I have also come to feel that they are soooooooooooo nice on the surface but it doesn't take long before they crawl out from under their veneer. And though I know they can't help it, I don't want to be around people like that. I can't help them so I'd rather stay away from them and leave them to their delusion. However I applaud coult for his ability to walk right on in there. Maybe it's the resilience of youth!


  • picosito

    I'm staying away from JW's, Kingdom Halls, Assembly Halls, etc, because I don't want to waste any more of my precious life time than I already have. Participating on this site, however, is a real joy.

  • SYN

    Everyone here who has left the BORG is stronger for it. It affects some people pretty badly - the WTBTS meme is not easily cured, and in fact, most people even on this board are probably still living with the psychological vestiges of being a Dub, and will probably go to their deathbeds with these things still inside them. For instance, I still get uncomfortable for absolutely no reason in churches of other faiths apart from the KHs (when I went to my uncle and grandmother's funerals, I sweated a bit).

    Other, little things. Watching an erotic movie. Touching a girl in an inappropriate way (but I just bluster ahead anyway! )...that sort of thing. Maybe one day it'll be gone...

    [SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice!

Share this