Help me figure out what to say...I'm not usually at a loss for words

by Terry 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • Terry
    Terry

    Well, I finally found him on Facebook!

    His name is Tollie Padgett. He was my congregation overseer (before the "elder" changeover) when I was in prison in Seagoville in the late 60's.

    I've been searching for him for years and years. Finally I located him and sent off a simple message of identification as to who I am.

    He "friended" me.

    I have a tiny window of opportunity here and I don't want to blow it.

    Let me tell you about Tollie first...

    Tollie was a college educated JW who was sharp, intelligent and dynamic.

    He was my hero as a role model of what I could be if I set my mind to becoming the best JW possible.

    Until I met Tollie the only JW leaders I'd observed where molasses. Tollie was lightning in a bottle.

    We've all met the go-along-to-get-along Jw's who dot the i's and cross the t's to fill their quota.

    They are neither hot nor cold.

    Tollie was on fire! But, not obnoxious or zealot-crazy irrepressible, either.

    I sat in on his bookstudy for the first time after being invited (because of my comments a the meetings.) (JW bros had 5 meetings a week inside prison that mirrored the outside KH meetings. Plus there was extra study of the older publications from the Rutherford era as well.)

    Tollie Padgett was looking for like-minded brothers who wanted to drill down deep to the mother lode. He wanted to wrest all the marrow out and MASTER the theology with absolute expertise.

    That is when it hit me---I could master this theology by absorbing the deepest parts and relating it all to the whole! That soon became my driving ambition, too. I would be an EXPERT JW.

    Tollie would expect you to have read deeply before coming to his bookstudy. He would simply call on you and challenge your thinking with a question which was NOT printed on the bottom of the page!

    It was a master class if ever there was one.

    It was the very first time the Society's publications came alive as something WORTH DIGGING IN DEEP to examine!

    Looking back now I'd say it was entirely due to the genius of Tollie's teaching methods.

    Tollie brought in outside information: physics, math, science, history in an academic way---not the Society's lamebrain half quote method, either.

    He'd challenge your answers and make you reach way down for an answer. It exploded my brain and I came alive to REAL STUDY and learning.

    It was Socratic Method teaching and it was survival of the fittest! I loved it!

    We went through the Babylon the Great Book back to front/front to back, Let your Name be Santified, Life Everlasting in Freedom of the Sons of God and whatever older books we could get our hands on.

    When I was paroled from Seagoville I was like a chained dynamo ready to plug in like never before. But---once back in my old Kingdom Hall the speed at which life went apace was soooooo slooooooow it was underwater.

    I couldn't understand why it was so boring, uninteresting, dull and haphazard!!

    I became ambitious like nobody's business. Soon I was music servant, book study conductor, Public Talk speaker, full time Pioneer and zealot number one.

    Tollie went on to Gilead and missionary work with his wife. I saw their class graduation photo in a yearbook.

    That was the last I heard of him. It is 44 years later.

    We know what happened to me! Mayor of APOSTATEVILLE!

    But, Tollie? I don't know. He is retired. That's all I know.

    We haven't had our first conversation.

    I want to be able to make it count.

    If he is still a JW you better believe the window of opportunity is narrow!

    I want to say something very brief. Maybe one paragraph. It must be personal, sincere and very non-evil slave sounding.

    I want to honor his memory in my life. Maybe just telling him how much his teaching methods and companionship meant to me.

    Sidebar: When I was attacked by another inmate Tollie is the one who got 5 of the biggest brothers in the prison to "pay a visit" to the perp and let him know what fate was in store if he ever approached any JW again. Tollie also did the unthinkable. You just don't ever ever SNITCH inside prison walls.

    But, Tollie, for my sake and the sake of all the other brothers, went to the Captain of the Guards (Lt. Bennett) and told him what had happened. Within 8 hours the inmate who attacked me was in the hole and set for transfer to a maximum security prison.

    I owe Tollie for that.

    But, I'm tripping over my intentions I suppose.

    I want him to know I have always loved him as a friend and admired him as a person of integrity.

    But....but....

    Well, I'm asking YOU. What would you say?

  • Bob_NC
    Bob_NC

    Wow. Oh wow. Something similar happened to me and I stumbled with it. The brother for me was a former Special Pioneer and is, as far as I know, still City Overseer in a major southern US city. As I was leaving the Org, he called to encourage me, but also to investigate whether I had turned apostate.

    I suggest that you tell him these things that you mentioned, "I want to honor his memory in my life. Maybe just telling him how much his teaching methods and companionship meant to me. I want him to know I have always loved him as a friend and admired him as a person of integrity." Then it would be up to you to add, because of the research methods you shared with him, you came upon information that the WT Society has not considered and came to have questions that the WT Society's theology cannot answer. You don't have to say what those are. He will ask if he is interested.

  • truthlover
    truthlover

    So he friended you....

    I think your account of the friendship can be spoken of, how much you appreciated all he did for you and that you love him for his caring and protectiveness. He seems to be the kind not to be afraid of anything and use all in his power to overcome what seems like insurmountable obstacles, using the powers that be in his favor to get justice rather than just letting it be taken care of by those in the congregation who should be caring for your life and soul. For all the words spoken of off the platform, rarely do you see such enthusiasm or caring actually acted upon.

    If nothing else comes of it, at least he will know your true feelings and that he is one person who you admire trememdously. Because, as you well know, once it is said you have left the truth and he and his wife are still in, its a slippery slope from there on down. But no matter what comes of it, at least he will know your gratitude in standing up for you when others did not.... he may come back to you and with all your knowledge and quick wit, being quite a master of language and start asking questions himself... you never know...

    Just my 2 cents

  • dreamgolfer
    dreamgolfer

    Ask him if he'd wanna meet you for Lunch - do the face to face thing

  • Tater-T
    Tater-T

    maybe just try to find out how he is a person.. if he brings it up .. tell him your are inactive.. and you will research .and bring him bit's of doubt. one piece at a time

    Are you sure he is still In?

  • sooner7nc
    sooner7nc

    Tell him how much he means to you even after all these years and leave it at that. I would let him be the one to broach the subject of religion because by what you've said of him I would imagine that it's highly possible that his thoughts over the years have changed quite a bit. Hopefully his intellect has allowed him to see some of the things that we take for granted.

    Until then it's just Schrodinger's cat. Thank God for TBBT.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "He is retired. That's all I know."

    Missionaries don't "retire." They either die of some disease, or die of old-age causes and impoverished in a branch, or they leave their assignments to get on with life.

    I'd suggest that rather than starting a difficult conversation, try something like, "How are you? It's so exciting to find you after all these years. I've almost recovered from the time I was attacked in prison and you set things right for me... for all of us, really, under those difficult circumstances. And in those confined prison walls, away from everything we knew before, you gave us a passion for learning and thinking which no bars could ever contain. Thanks for that inspiration."

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi Terry, How about ask him how he is doing, how life has treated him, and thank him again for helping you in prison. You could even share a little about how your life has been since the late 1960's waiting for the end of this "System".

    Can you like books and websites on your Facebook page that he might see if he visits your Facebook page?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    I want him to know I have always loved him as a friend and admired him as a person of integrity.

    I think I'd just tell him this Terry, and see where it leads.....

    Loz x

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    I want to honor his memory in my life. Maybe just telling him how much his teaching methods and companionship meant to me.

    I think you've answered your own question.

    If he was that much into the JWS, he's most likely as many other JWS of his age and that involves playing along in the JW ride.

    I would mention your respect from him as an individual and the support he offered you when you were close associates,

    in spite of the fact that you eventually took different paths in your lives.

    This fellow reminds me a couple men who I remember with great respect who were very sincere and non-pretentious as JWS.

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