hi jgnat,
Thnku for th post...u are one of th few good experinces ive herd of such a match tht worked..u ddnt maetion wat you faith is..
PS: eloping sounds like th way to go
Is there anyone out there who married a non jW...?how did it turn out for ?Are u happy?
by Chichi89 30 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
mamochan13
I married a non-JW twice. It didn't work either time. First husband was an abuser, the second could not manage the strain of me being DFd. Had we married after I woke up and left the religion on my own, we'd still be married - we are good friends now.
However, my mom married a non-JW. She was baptised (at age 18) the year before she met him, and was not raised in the religion. It always puzzled me how she got away with it. But they celebrated their 60th anniversary two years ago. When she died last year, he was still lovingly at her side. I think the key with their relationship, though, was that my dad let her completely control everything about religion in our house, including raising us kids. They fought, of course, but it was never about religion.
-
nonjwspouse
Yes mamochan, if the JW had total control over the religious thoughts, the minds of the home. Then that is about the only way it can "work". In my life, that is not an option. He promised before we married he would raise our child as a Catholic and she would attend a Catholic School. The preist was very apprehensive about it, kept asking him was he fully aware of what he was promising. My husband kept saying he was. I was SO NIAVE about the WT mind contro that I believed in my husband, in his own mnd, in his ablity to think for himself.
But, as I have experienced, the JW mindset can turn on a dime. As the WT histroy shows, this is the norm for them. Changing complete beliefs or promises on a dime because the President or Governing Body told them to in a publication or speech. Only time will tell if my own marriage will work. It scares me, but I try to keep strength in believing that the seeds of doubt will not fail.
-
Fading Begins
I was the JW and married a non-JW (second marriage - 1st to an elder) and then proceded to convert him. He was baptized and making great progress, getting "privileges" etc. Due to earlier circumstances, I had been "questioning" since I had read Ray's two books. Started missing meetings, not going in field service, not answering, and am now an "official" fader.
My wonderful "soul-mate", yes there is such a thing, listened when I gave him all the reasons why it was the truth, and because he loved me, he followed me in. When I gave him the reasons I had changed my mind, he followed me out. He is a very smart man, but his love for me came before anything else. He has been very supportive.
If you feel you are going to continue doubting and fading, then the only thing to worry about, is if he really is your "soul-mate" and if your love for each other will carry you through everything that might happen down the road. One of the questions I've asked my own kids to contemplate before making such a life-long commitment is this - if he was in an accident tomorrow and was paralized and in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, would your love hold the course? If they had doubts, then I would tell them to have patience, and allow the "rose-coloured glasses" to come off before making the decision. The future, if you take this course, and continue to fade, or face df, will be extremely, emotionally traumatic, and you will need his support every step of the way. Make your choice, not because he is, or is not a JW, but because he is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
-
jgnat
u ddnt maetion wat you faith is.. - Chichi
I am by design vague on what I believe. When a Pioneer asks me, it is to take pot-shots at my denomination's statements of belief. I dislike doctrinal debates. When an evangelical Christian asks, they are trying to decide if I am "saved" or not. If I am not "saved" in their mind, they will pour all their energy in to trying to convert me. Neither one shows much interest in who I am as a person. A few years ago I would have said Orthodox Christian, but now some of my beliefs are not so orthodox. I have always called myself a skeptical Christian because I have an inquiring mind and I keep asking questions. I attend church because I like it. I love to sing. I pray. I try to give back to the world more than I have been given, and I celebrate life.
-
flipper
CHICHI89- I met my non-Witness wife of almost 7 years on E-Harmony.com. We were and are a perfect match. Very happy both of us. we both have never been as happy with previous relationships as we both are in this one. I was inactive and not attending meetings for about 3 years when I met Mrs. Flipper in early 2006. We have lots of fun together.
I believe for two people to be well suited that your main values need to be similar in how you treat each other, how you treat people in general, friends, family, even strangers. Do you have a similar sense of humor ? We both have quirky, dark, twisted senses of humor so we get along great that way. Even style of sense of humor is important. We both love music and have an awesome CD/record colllection since we were young teenagers. We joined our music collection together. We both love nature, living in the mountains, hiking, exploring, we both love dogs, cats, domestic animals. I love to cook for Mrs. Flipper and she loves to eat it, so even eating is a blast !
Another thing that really helps is we don't hurt each others feelings very easily. We aren't oversensitive- but that being said we feel badly if we've said something that hurts the other person. We never do it on purpose and ALWAYS, ALWAYS apologize if we know we've unknowingly hurt our partner. That makes communication open up and a lot easier to be open with our feelings if you know your partner is going to act and be respectful of those feelings. It's the best relationship I've ever had with a woman in open communication and understanding. Neither one of us have egos and we check them in at the door when we get into the warm abode of our home. We have no agendas or ever any " axes to grind " with one another - just that we desir a peaceful , happy home for the two of us and our 4 cats and one dog.
So there you have some of our secrets. You asked, so I provided it for you. Good luck to you in your relationship ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
-
clarity
Hello again Chichi... glad to see you feelng so much better.
>
How much do you know about Pentecostal beliefs?
>
You may be surprised ..... I have found them to be just as
"brain washed" as the witnesses!
Take the time to know what you are getting into this time.
>
Sometimes our feelings & hormones can overpower our
common sense. Be careful & slow down.
>
Could you not just date, have fun & enjoy one anothers
company ... without looking over your shoulder.....before
you start making 'heavy duty' marriage plans?
>
Be a wise woman & don't end up in regret.
We are 'pulling' for ya
http://www.free-online-bible-study.org/pentecostal-beliefs.html
clarity
-
return of parakeet
Chichi, read this thread and decide whether you want to take this kind of chance for your future:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/245585/1/My-Son-and-I-have-about-5-Months-Left
There are many, many threads with the same heartrending results that often happen when dubs marry non-dubs.
-
gma-tired2
My daughter married a non JW and they have been married 20 years and parents of two teenagers. But she no longer claims to be a JW but they both have lived clean moral lives.
-
mrsjones5
I'm a born in, never baptized. I married a nonjw. We just celebrated our 20th year of marriage. We have four kids. We're very happy to have each other.