How to tell family why you are no longer attending meetings?

by El_Guapo 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • El_Guapo
    El_Guapo

    So it has been over a month, maybe closer to two that I haven't attended a meeting. My stress level has gone WAY down, and my life is pretty good right now. Well as you know, there are TONS of nosy witnessess. I live with my wife on the East Coast my entire family lives in California yet somehow I got an email yesterday from my mom asking why we stopped going to meetings. REALLY? I know it's our decision, but still it's my mom and I love her, just not sure how to tell her why I'm not going. I can't tell her about TTATT, my family is uber-zelaous and they would shun me in an instant.

    Any ideas???

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW
    I got an email yesterday from my mom asking why we stopped going to meetings.

    Because..

    I`ve heard it All Before..

    ....................... mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • happy@last
    happy@last

    Why not tell her for your physical health? Or even for your mental health?

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    • You've been checking out the "foreign language" congregations in the neighbourhood. Her informants are misinformed.
    • You are going through a mid-life crisis. Break in to tears. Ask for prayer.
    • You've been stumbled by a brother and are considering your options.
    • Ask her what she's worried about. (She projects her worst fears and gives you a hint what her doubts are)
  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I told my Mother in Law that we were not attending because I needed a break . I was not happy ,and needed time to sort out my feelings and thoughts . She asked me if it was because of something someone in the hall had said or done ,and I told her no . She became angry and wanted to know if I had disassociated myself ,and I said No . Then I just told her it was personal ,and a private issue that I wanted to work out on my own .I told her I would appreciate her keeping out of it .( I didn't want her sending in a rescue squad of Elders ) I refused to elaborate on it or go into details .

  • Rattigan350
    Rattigan350

    Say you have to work or can't afford the gas.

  • dreamgolfer
    dreamgolfer

    Gaupo,

    That is a great question, what worked for me (as my grandkids asked this) in my situation - is that I travel alot for work - drive over 30,000 miles a year in sales, So I can't sit down anymore than I humanely can handle.

    So my "back" is very sensitive and I have to watch out I dont sit too much in a chair, sadly those meeting chairse are not good for Grandpa.

    Seems to work okay, and I get odler it will be an even better excuse

    Cheers

    DG

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    El Guapo, I have no idea how old you are or how old your parents are. If you are born in or not.

    I am asking because If your parents "lived" thru the nightmare The Watch Tower Society put us through in 1975 and or, you were raised with that rubbish = you have stress, and they should understand because honestly, they have to feel that stress too.

    This is about you and your situation El Guapo but I only have myself as reference. I pushed myself, and pushed myself, no matter how exhausted I became. Our vacations were District Conventions. Work at one, listen at the next one. Help this one, encourage that one. It is not good to get as exhausted as I feel.

    Would it work with your West Coast Family to tell them you need to look after your health so you don't "burn out"?

    Tell them you feel you must stop, cold turkey. No assignments, no meetings, no service. That Jehovah wants you alive, to be a help, but right now, frankly, you must look after yourself first.

    Just Lois with my thought at the moment

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    "Its so much easier to call in and lie in bed and listen, plus it helps me fall asleep so much faster"

    Ok, seriously this is a no-win situation for a fader. Don't answer. Evade. But don't lie. You need to make them RESPECT you as an adult, without talking about their little cult in a negative way.

    Something like "You know, I really don't appreciate you asking me a question like that" or a "How old do you think I am, seven?!?!?!?!?!" will work if you can be dead silent afterwards. It puts their brain into motion and forces them to fill in the blanks. If they come back with another question/accusation, politely end the phone call and wish them a good day.

    Of course this probably doesn't work over e-mail.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    You've been stumbled by a brother and are considering your options.

    I like this one, and it's best if it's one of the Elders.

    Options like to what nearby congregation should you transfer, since there are obviously problems in the present congregation, which you see as evidence of Jehovah's Spirit lacking.

    Doc

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