So I am not even out yet and I feel as though I have already lost my best friend.
I asked her if I could use her as a reference on an apartment rental if I decide to go the route of separation from my husband. She knows all of what I went through in my marriage and how much pain and suffering that I have endured.
At first she said yes, no problem, then she asked if I would be speaking to the elders about it, and I said no, she asked why not, I said that is my choice to do or not do.
Her response was that I pray and speak to the elders and that she thinks it best that I don't use her as a reference because she would feel that she was supporting my decision to separate. I said fine but I also said that her response seems to be more of a concern about me speaking to the elders rather than being concerned for my well being. She said that she only mentioned it because she doesn't want me to do anything to damage my spirituality and that our relationship with Jehovah is the most important thing but that she is not judging me.
It is absolutely a judgment, I can't see how someone that I have known for almost 20 years and viewed as a sister would tell me she wouldn't be a reference for me. And this is not someone who was a hard core JW. She has had her own issues with "the truth" and left for years and out of guilt and shame came back, so now she feels she has the authority to tell me what I should be doing with my life?? AND I haven't spoken to her about my "awakening"/doubts etc.
As far as I am concerned though our friendship is over, if thats the "righteous stand" she feels like she needed to take then our friendship can only go downhill at this point. It's hard for me to see how they can't see that the friendships that they offer are 100% conditional!!!
It saddens me so much to see someone who I thought had my back through thick and thin turn their back on me.
I am very disturbed.