by pixel 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I think this is parody, but it could be real (except for the toilet paper stuff).
I hate that the cult feels the need to micro-manage.
In the future, maybe they will decide when and how to use the following in our ministry:
black shoes
shoes that are not black
thin or thick socks
taxi cabs
black vs. blue pens, and never red
leather or cloth seats for our field service sedans
Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts for the break (Of course, Tim Horton's for our Canada friends)
I usually use my Iphone to update my calendar, on upcoming announcements from the platform. I know that others probably think I'm texting, but I don't give a dam.
I love how they talk to people like children. I can imagine the outline instructions for the writer of this article:
1. Define what a cellphone is
"Cell phones give people the ability to text or speak with one another at virtually any time."
WHA?!?!? THANK YOU FDS!!!
If you can, please post the April KM on a separate thread.
@Blondie, I would like to, but I'm a little paranoid about uploading things and the WT might find out. I know it's stupid. I just copy/paste. I know Atlantis will do it soon.
I love how they talk to people like children. I can imagine the outline instructions for the writer of this article:
1. Define what a cellphone is
"Cell phones give people the ability to text or speak with one another at virtually any time."
You laugh, but there are people out there who will think, "OK, now I can go ahead and tell other people what a cell phone is, because 'the slave' put it in print."
Notice how they subtly suggest calling the interested party living at a distance before driving out there. They've caught onto the old trick of counting time to and from the distant call. They want you on the pavement and preaching, not socialising in the car and counting your time.
Either that or they are implying that the witnesess are "too stupid" to call before going. I think everybody does something like that at some point in their life, calling before going places. But see, the WT/GB/FDS just approve it.
The use of toilet paper at the kingdumb hell is influenced by the principle that God's people do not waste the precious resources (ie MONEY) that shoud be directed to the Faithful Slave.
Therefore Christians take a morphine-based anti diarrhoea medicine before attending, so there can be no bowel movement before returning home. Anti nausea/vomiting medication is also advised, so revulsion at the blasphemy and manipulation does not result in a soiled carpet.
HB
It wouldn't surprise me with the toilet paper because the last time we met up with missionaries from Africa they said that before you go to use the washroom there's a brother and sister sitting handing out only two squares of toilet paper to each person. One for pee and one for poo
I used to "serve" as Special Pioneer in Latin america (different countries) and at Assemblies we had to give instructions like:
- Don't use the pissoirs at the mens room to bath your child (if you think about it, they look like little "pilot seats" where a baby fits nicely in).
I peed my pants hearing that announcement.
At the same Assembly Hall they had to open the sewage system, because the water pumps would jam. Full of condoms! I HAD to see that with my own eyes, as I thought the caretaker of the Assembly Hall was joking with me. Nope. It could only come from the participants of the Assembly, since this was a closed propietary system.
