As a JW, how did you feel about shunning?

by jwfacts 51 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Fernando

    Spiritual healing is not achieved by applying a blow torch (shunning).

    This is the Watchtower's own version of hellfire - control people through fear & guilt. They mirror exactly the Pharisees' practice of expelling (and shunning) persons as described in the book of John (9:22; 12:42; 16:2).

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    Did not agree with the practice and secretly associated with disfellowshipped people

    When I first started going to Thursday meetings there were 5 weeks in a row with "announcements". It was horrid.

    I did not know them very well and was still being love bombed so to be told the person who was so nice to me the previous Sunday was now out of bounds felt alien and weird.

    Seeing them at the back of the hall and every-one ignoring them seemed cruel so I made a point of smiling at them as I went past or accidently touching their arm as I walked by them.

    Didn't have the guts to blatantly ignore the rule in public. Wish I had now.

    I had a friend who was deemed "bad association" because he was so infrequent at meetings and field service. I was counselled (by the same elder who told me not to help the African boat people) but we met in secret in the local gay bar as we were confident we wouldn't be spotted in there!

  • jwfacts

    Aunt Connie - lol, thank you for your deep insights. I can tell you are not a real person, but the personification of the true JW.

    It is interesting how many here disobeyed the rules, but then again, maybe it was your compassion that helped you see through the unloving teachings and leave.

  • joyfulfader

    Sadly i fell into the category of following the guidelines of shunning to a T. I even spent a total of 4 yrs df'd. shunned by my father (but not my mother). I look back in disgust at my behavior. i was Df'd unjustly one time and then again during a catastrophically difficult time in my life when i needed more support than i ever needed in my life. i worked my butt off to come back each time. Thankfully I am out for good...faded successfully so far. I will never again think of myself as better than someone else because a group of ignorant elitists tell me it is so. The GB is a dictatorship carrying out its own version of ethnic cleansing. While they may not actually murder masses of people, they maim and scar them usually forever and make them like refugees in a strange land by casting them out from their own families. abandoning them when they most need support. despicable.

  • shopaholic

    No one that I liked or cared about was ever disfellowshipped, so I went along with it.

    The first time I ever questioned it was when a cool older lady DA'd when I was a pre-teen and they still made the old announcement so we knew she left and was not DF'd. I spoke to her and caught the wrath of many before they explained that we can't talk to people that leave. I thought that was the stupidest thing ever...the only thing she did was change her mind.

    When I got older a good friend was publicly reproved. Everyone shunned the person except me and two others and no one questioned me on it (I knew they wouldn't).

    Do they still publicly reprove adults? I find all of that to be such silliness now.

  • Pickler

    I always thought shunning was too harsh. I ran into a DF sister once & we smiled & waved at ech other, what's the harm? I was always glad that I did that, she had been a really good friend to me.

    I was shunned and it was terrible. I was in a small town, and I became afraid to leave the house incase I ran into someone.

  • mouthy

    I didnt agree with it. But when I saw a Df person I would wink at them.... Hypacrite that I was taught to be

  • AnnOMaly

    I followed the shunning policy but found it very stressful to do. I'd be anxious whenever I encountered someone DFed because I wanted to do the 'correct' thing; if they caught my eye and spoke to me, it was hard to just ignore them and there were situations where I couldn't which caused me more stress. Sometimes, I found out I had made mistakes - ones who I'd heard were DFed actually weren't or they'd been reinstated in another congregation and I didn't know.

    Plus there were inconsistencies. One DFed family member was allowed to keep in contact, while another DFed relative was shunned, and hubby and I were complicit in this craziness (we later apologized to the person for our behavior).

    It's only when I started to 'wake up' that I understood why I'd felt so uncomfortable doing something supposedly so 'loving' and 'righteous' - it was neither of those things; it went against the grain of basic human (and Christian) kindness - at best, it was just plain rude and at worst, a form of bullying.

  • fresh prince of ohio
    fresh prince of ohio

    I was a lonely isolated JW living in a big city with no family in da troof so the only times i ever was in a position to perform shunning duty was when I ignored the seated-at-the-back-of-the-kingdom-hall repenters.

    There was a local situation that underscored how ridiculous it all was - two dudes from different families, both very obviously gay from an early age, one of them went along with the program and got baptized at age 12 or something, while the other never did. Both came out of the closet as young adults. So the guy that got dunked at age 12: SHUNNED FOR LIFE BY EVERYBODY HE EVER KNEW. The other guy - unimpeded contact with his family.

  • OneStepOut93

    Even as a little little kid.. (I'm a born in) I NEVER EVER could see how shunning was in ANY way shape or form loving.

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