Its been a long time since i last posted, but life is being rough again

by akafreelife 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • LisaRose

    It sounds like you rush into relationships because you are lonely. This is not good because when you had sex with someone so soon, you get involved before you know if you are comparable, then when it falls apart it is more traumatic. Sex too soon can mask the fact of basic incompatibility, take it slower next time, much slower, get a dog if you are lonely, seriously. Most women are turned off by needy men, so you will scare off the good ones.

    Do not have sex on the first few dates, get to know her as a person, see how she behaves, decide if you want that in your life, It would be better to wait a few months, see how she acts in different situations, probably too much to ask of you, but it would be better for all involved. Be especially cautious if she has children. Little ones get attached, and then it is traumatic for them when you leave, you don't want to do that to a child. Don't move in until the relationship is well established. If you are a decent guy, you will find somebody, but don't expect her to fill all your needs, get out there and find some more guy friends also. This will help you increase your social circle and improve your chances of meeting a girlfriend.

    Hang in there, you will find someone. The fact that you are asking advice shows your heart is in the right place. My husband and I are two nerds that just happened to find the perfect partner in each other, if we did it, there is hope for everybody!

  • 20yearfader

    i agree with exwhyzee women hate a man that seems needy.I made this mistake with my first piece when i let the org.You need someone to love and be loved,but our being born in the org ruins any relationship skills we should have these worldy and men are like 3 steps ahead of us plus they didnt have the disavantage of being raised in the moronic org.Next person you meet try not to go all in be confident however a little aloof let her decide how far she wants this relationship to go.Don't start the relationship off on how you were in the org and what happened to you,people that have never had contact with the jws might not understand what we you are going through keep that to yourself until you feel that's it's time to open up about that.Lastly don't sweat this chic go get your stuff from her house,keep your head up and please please dont beg her good luck bro.

  • AudeSapere

    op wrote: "i dont have insurance right now so i cant afford counciling unfortunatly."

    This may help:

    It's the closest thing to free counselling. Might not be a perfect fit but might give you some insight and an outlet for feelings.


  • akafreelife

    Thank you everyone for all your insight today. It started out rough but with your thoughts and a good friend of mine that surfaced from the past the day ended very well. We played a music jam session tonight and i had forgoten how much i was missing that. Playing drums is very theraputic I had been focused on writting so much heartache that i stopped playing my drums. My friend made me realize that i have tons to offer someone. Next time i am going to be more careful in my choices and for a while i will be focused on what i need to make myself whole and happy inside. At least that is what i am saying now but who knows what tomorrow will bring.

  • akafreelife

    Today I have decided to start a good strong exercise regiment too to help release those good endorphin that i need. Staying positive is half the battle right?

  • Lozhasleft

    I'm glad the collection of your stuff is all done and your attitude now is starting to sound much more positive. Cool about the drumming too!

    Loz x

  • exwhyzee

    Hey AKAfreelife....glad you've cheered up! Sometimes these things are for the best. Exercise and music are two really good things for you to turn to now. Glad your friend turned up to remind you that you have value. P.S. very cool that you can play the drums! Hang in there ,keep doing healthy positive things and soon you'll surprise yourself at how well you're doing.

  • l p
    l p

    Well Im no shining example...Im 35, single full time...2 female best friends moved interstate...have 2 other best friends in the same city...

    I dont get out meeting new people.. as my 2 friends dont do that...

    i dont have any single friends....

    but im starting my 2nd degree this march...doing it part time while working full time...i hope to meet new people through this and hopefully make friends...

    perhaps consider a course, or a sport


  • jgnat

    Good idea. My hubby joined a fitness club after the failure of his first marriage. Did a world of good for his self-esteem.

  • moshe

    Marriage is a form of bondage- until you find someone who wants to marry you, these live ins must be considered to be temporary in nature. Good luck and I agree some counseling might help redirect a pattern of needy behavior.

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