They should only df unrepentant sinners, but when you get three guys in a room together all trying to judge repentance, they are easily swayed. My experience of jc's was that they got off on the detail. They ask far too many intimate and irrelevant questions. In time, I'm sure your gf will recognise her life begins when she leaves this cult.
Girlfriend probably getting DF'd
Boy, this makes my hubby look like a genius. He kept me a secret until we were married and I forced his hand. He got reproved and another book to read (AND the elders hated his guts). I mean, we were married, what could they do?
Deep down, she may really want to be DF'd. Wouldn't you want out of that robot funny farm?
Welcome her to freedom, the ability to choose for herself and to discern right and wrong for herself.
We all congratulate her for getting on the wrong side of the elders, while trying not to or at least appearing to try not to.
I hope she is OK. Have her spend time here so she doesn't feel self loathing and guilt about being kicked out of a cult.
One thing that a dffed person needs is social support, ie friends. She will be losing friends, so she will need new friends and likely social activities to replace what she lost.
Been a lurker but you know I dated JW for 4 years and will explain later but we had a sexual relationship and Im a wordly, Needless to say it was brought to the elders and she only lost privledges> WTF I see alot on here dissfellowshipped and she admitted to it all but has to make a choice but only lost privledges, so how can then treat one completely different than the other?
Outgoing, "worldly" courts have checks and balances. Judges must even stay within sentencing guidelines to avoid injustices as you have just described. There is really nothing equivalent to control these closed-door JC's.
This my your shot to get her to see that this is not gods organization.
There is a article written in 1952 , I think, where the WTBTS slams the Catholic Church for ex-communicating its members and goes on to say that it is based on paganism and is unscriptural to do this.
Check out half way down the heading "Are you also excommunicated ?" For more info on this if you think it will help her see the changes.
It would seem to appear that repentance isn't really what matters. In the congregation where I still attend for various reasons they tolerated and even made light of a guy who cheated on two wives, was openly habitually falling on his face drunk in public, graphically described how he wanted to disembowel other members who had "screwed him over" by things like demanding to be paid for work they did for him, publicly flew the bird at the US flag, embezzled from his business and then cursed the government for penalizing him. He bragged about being a multi-millionaire and made substantial contributions to the KH and elders. The only thing that happened to him was that he was appointed MS.
Contrasted with that is a poor sister who has a physically and emotionally abusive non-jw husband. She drank alcohol a few too many times to cope and was hauled before the tribunal and PRed. Now she is the subject of gossip and innuendo.
So I guess it isn't really always repentance. As the first guy I told about said one time, "Go ahead and fornicate all you want. Just make sure to confess and make a big contribution. It'll be okay!"
$$ Likability and being a good ol boy goes a long way.
If you followed the Henderson pedophia case in Northern California he sodomized kids in multiple congregations for years and was only privately reproved and re-appointed an elder. He was a good time charlie and hospitable to local elders.
The JW model of Judicial hearings has no biblical or legal basis. The only thing like it in the bible was the secret night trial of Jesus. Earlier times had public trials at the City gates.