New Release for 2013 District Assemblies

by RubaDub 25 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • whathappened

    Jehovah's Witnesses, the etch a sketch religion?

  • kurtbethel

    Or they could go with this.

    Jehovah's Witnesses upgrade for the 21st Century

    JW Watchtower Jehovah's Witnesses get automation new light upgrade Next time the Jehovah's Witnesses show up at your door they may have the means to get you to comply.

    The Watchtower Society has just unveiled its new weapon in the War on Apostates'

    The "Jehovahnator" made its debut at the organization's corporate headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.

    "Coming into this last span of time before Armageddon, we need to step up our outreach to the public," said governing board member Aleister C. Russell.

    "By automating our field operations we have a tremendous multiplier for our efforts to bring people in to the New System."

    The Jehovahnator will do precisely that. It will perform the normal door-to-door ministry that the organization is famous for, with a modern update. It carries an "e-briefcase" that prints needed literature on demand. Through wireless connectivity, the literature is constantly updated in real time with the newest changes in doctrine.

    "We will never disseminate old doctrine again," said Russell.

  • DesirousOfChange

    That means TWO new releases at this year's Dist Conv.

    I heard the other one on the press is: "DOZENS NOW LIVING MAY NEVER DIE"


  • tiki

    omg - you guys are cracking me up!!!! i started reading thinking someone has the scoop on some new drivel and it's this hilarious erasable ink/replaceable expressions thing....then i get to moshe and it gets better - then "etch a sketch"................................haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhahhahhah love it!!! thanks guys!!!

  • Pterist

    Thanks for the laugh all, needed it !


  • Pterist

    The elders in BLACK will be well equipped with Neuralyzers !

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