This isn't actually my 77th rant. I've completely lost track of all my rants. I'm quite sure I'm way passed 77 by now. Who knows ...?
No, I'm just riffin' on Jesus' alleged response to Peter's weasely attempt to appear forgiving while in reality avoid being so. Peter was a model elder, doncha' know! - Matthew 18:21 - 35
You see, I'm mad. I'm really mad. I'm mad and I'm frustrated. I'm REALLY, REALLY MAD and REALLY, REALLY FRUSTRATED! In fact, I'm furious, beyond words. Still, I'll try to explain; probably my situation will be familiar to many of you too:
I'm disfellowshipped and as a result am completely shunned by my own family and former "friends." Nothing new there! The so-called "friends" I could do without. Fuck 'em if that's the kind of friends they are! Conditional approval isn't worth the paper a WT magazine is printed on.
But I do love my family, especially my children. And I believe I owe it to my kids to try and reach them. After all, I'm the one that taught them this stupid religion. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but that was before I saw what a pack of lies it all is. Now I know better.
And so, I'm trying desperately to do what I can to restore broken relationships with those that I love. Yet, no matter what I do, I find that I am constantly being blocked by the un-Christian, unloving, evil and controlling rules of this God-damned religion.
It's completely absurd that I should be at the mercy of unmerciful men. I seek mercy, but it's not there. It's ridiculous that I need the "forgiveness" of unforgiving people. I ask for forgiveness, but it is withheld from me.
Why do I need those things? Because, apparently, I need the permission of three men so that I can talk to my own children.
What kind of God would think up such an arrangement? Not one worthy of my worship, that's for sure!
The idea that anyone thinks that they have the right to tell an adult who they can and cannot talk to is completely ridiculous.
If I was ever under the illusion that God has anything to do with this religion, my experience over the last few years has completely shattered that illusion. Shattered it to pieces. My faith is now nothing but broken shards of pale-colored glass. With my every step, I feel that glass being crushed beneath my feet.
God, if he even exists, has nothing to do with the religion known as Jehovah's Witnesses, nothing.
No question, no doubts. Don't even gotta' think twice about it.
It's just so fucked up that this religion holds your own family hostage. And that's what it is: A hostage situation. I'm going in, undercover.