by 88JM 24 Replies latest jw friends
Good advice Cedars, especially for the folks still in the thick of it
but there will come a time in his life he's gotta make a choice
and then he will have to use whatever he has at his disposal
Until then , there's an old sayin' when it come to grin and bear it
" He may have to bear it, but he don't have to grin "
88JM- I know your pain my friend. I'm 53 now and have been out of the organization over 9 years but I remember not too very long ago being 23 yrs.old and having been born in and raised up from birth inside the JW organization. It sucks- BIG time. I understand your fears you are going through regarding JW family ratting you out. I was married 19 years until age 39 to a fanatic JW wife. All my family was inside the cult too.
The self righteousness these JW's display is enough to drive a guy over the bend. Sorry to hear you couldn't finish your meal by yourself. Next time perhaps drive somewhere to eat a little further out of your territory so you don't come across these freaks . At least not ones that you know or recognize. You are doing good in building up some friends and support group outside the JW's. Keep doing that. You'll need that support when you decide to stop attending meetings. Here's a toast to you hoping you can move out of JW parents house soon and regain your freedom back ! !
The sooner you do that the sooner you can start fading perhaps going to a different congregation where no JW relatives attend and start hitting and missing ( mostly missing ) the meetings. The sooner you get away from the mind control marketing information spewing like vitriol off the kingdom hall platform- the better at least for your peace of mind. I know it will take time though. Just remember you have good friends here who understand what you're going through mate, O.K. ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper
BIG HUG (((88JM))) It is torture once the mind wakes up to TTATT and the body is stuck listening to the tripe that is dished out. So sorry that you couldn't have a nice quiet lunch to recover from the meeting but were subjected to more tripe at lunch. Fading is difficult but you are doing well in keeping your cool until you get your ducks in a row. You have taken a huge step by working on building up a support network outside of the KH. These non-JW friends and acquaintances will be very helpful when you are finally able to make the transition from JW world into the real world. Until then, vent away, it helps keep one sane! lol. Leslie
I feel for you 88JM, I think next time you are such a situation you may act differently, perhaps dropping interesting one liners, it's the being caught off guard that can annoy you.
I'm in Scotland too, I stopped going well over a year ago, I'm not DA or DF'd, happy to chat privately if you need a hearing ear.
Hey, I know literally loads of dubs who have just faded (I'm one of them) and after a while nobody cares what you do. I have even just recently had this conversation with elders asking why sister so and so is now living with a new man and is not disf'd. They simply tell me that when an individual has been inactive for some time it is not the congregations concern what they get up to. I know loads of ex dubs who get up to all manner of things. Many of us meet up and are very good friends.
Seriously, if you fade without any fuss, don't give them any reason to think you are an 'apostate' which means biting your tongue, you will be fine.
Have a little faith!
Technically, I am still a JW and when I meet dubs I am treated as such. I just keep my opinions to myself. Its very frustrating because they can speak their mind when I cannot but I live with it. There are things in this life more valuable than making one's opinion known!
I used to think life would be great if I could tell them where to get off but now, after all this time, I've come to realise that doing it my way is much more fun.
Only tell people what you want them to know. I have always applied this principle since childhood and it is a safeguard against those who would do us harm.
I wish you the very best.
Love and peace.
