Facebook message from ex brother-in-law

by jeremiah18:5-10 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    My ex BIL (who is DF'd for 3+ years) sent me this message Saturday night:

    "...it is with a sad heart I write this. After seeing your post concerning celebrating Halloween and running into Christi and her telling me that you guys were celebrating Christmas with a tree and everything ... along with other postings you have made and testimony from others it is apparent you have chosen the path of apostasy.... I write this wishing that wasn't so but the fact is the fact... I wish you and your family the best in this system but I can not associate or be friends with you anymore... I am chosing to be on Jehovah's and his organization's side... thanks for the friendship thru the years and may you enjoy the time left in this system... :'("

    We used to be very close and served as elders on the body together for years. Beyond an occasional facebook message, we've had no contact for 5 years or so (since I was DF'd). When I received the message, it infuriated me and I couldn't resist responding.

    There were 2 directions I could go, 1) rise above and be classy and not dignify his condescending nature or 2) emotionally reply and set him straight. I had been drinking that night with a couple of buddies and couldn't resist the emotional reply.

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    Here is my reply:

    How dare you presume to judge me or my family or anything about our life. You have had next to zero contact with me or my family in years.

    You have zero right to imply adverse judgment or doom against me. Jehovah alone judges hearts and contrary to your post recently, no amount of action or belief can earn you Gods approval because as the Bible says salvation is by undeserved kindness and grace. Nothing you do can make you deserve it. You can self-proclaim taking "Jehovah's side" all you want, but that doesn't make it so. Just having a label by a self-appointed group of men does not equate to Jehovah's approval.

    How dare you presume to accuse me of the path of "apostacy" when you no nothing of my belief in and faith in and dedication to Jehovah and Jesus. Apostacy from men is not apostacy from God. I pity you and all others who can't see beyond the noses on their faces or think for themselves beyond the realm allowed for them or permitted by an earthly organization.

    My concern has been and will continue to be Gods approval and that of His Son, not of what you or any other man thinks. I don't know what "Christy" you ate referring to, but, I don't live in NWA and I don't have association with anyone where I live and what's more its not your concern or the concern of anyone in an organization that expelled me from it to look into my life, or take note of my life or actions.

    For someone who has always been wick to alledge slander against anyone accusing you of anything, you have alot of audacity accusing me of anything based on secondhand info. Shame on you. I pray that someday your eyes are opened and that you can have enough life left to enjoy it.

    You have no reason to reply to this. If you choose to share this private message with anyone I will consider it outright violation of my expectations of privacy. This is not a public forum.

    Any inclinations you may have to argue with me in your legalistic manner can promptly be stowed away in the same sand you bury your head in. Peace and Good Luck! :-)

  • baltar447

    Yeah, I'd be very tempted to tell someone to go f*k themselves at this point.

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    He replied:

    I am sorry if you feel that I used gossip... but I did not... I saw your own posts and christi is your sister in law... as well as your inlaws to tell me these things... so its not just gossip or hearsay but people who know as well as your own words themself..so although you have chosen to go your path I am choosing to follow the organization.. call it what you will but I am ok with my decision

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    To which I replied:

    Im not going to waste anymore time on this beyond this reply.

    But I have had zero contact with any of those people you mentioned. I choose to avoid contact with them. While they are "in laws" that doesn't grant them special insight into me or my life when I have no contact with them at all.

    I've reviewed my lists and beyond stating that my kids enjoyed halloween night and having candy, I've posted nothing implying participation in any holiday or any other activity.

    With that being said, you have no idea what I was referring to, whether we bought candy on special or simply enjoyed candy brought home from school.

    Nevertheless, I don't care. I enjoy my life, my family, my choices, and my spirituality and course. That's what is of greatest consequence not whether you or anyone else approves of me or my supposed choices.

    I have every right to make choices just as you do and to have such choices respected just as you desire yours to be.

    Again what right do you have to presume to pass judgment on me?

    You are severely misguided and unwelcome in my life, not that you've been a part of it for years anyway. So sad!!

    How awful to be so pre-occupied with judging others and neglect your own life and enjoyment of said life.

  • jeremiah18:5-10

    I would appreciate any feedback about my responses. I didn't think it through and in the days since, I have somewhat regretted my agressive replies. Any suggestions on how to handle such a situation in the future would be appreciated, unless of course I handled it appropriately.

  • AGuest

    The conundrum, dear Jeremiah (peace to you, dear one!)? Whether to say what is "right"... or what is "true." Personally, if I HAVE to say something to someone, I go with what is TRUE... because what is often [considered] "right"... isn't. Sounds to me like you said what was true. You might regret HOW you said it, but were I you, I would not regret THAT I said it. Some things... some truths... need to be said. Whether or not they make a difference... or the target audience can receive them... now.

    Temperence is good, but not always do-able. Praise JAH... there is a ransom. For everything except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (glorified Christ). If you feel you need it, ask for forgiveness. From you BIL ("Please forgive me if I offended you, but I said what I felt I had to")... and/or from God and Christ ("Please forgive my lack of self control here"). Then put faith IN that forgiveness (from the latter), by DEMONSTRATING your faith in his forgiving power... by means of his blood... and by means of his love. You can do that, first and foremost, by forgiving those who "transgress" against YOU. Forgive them THEIR errors... and you will be forgiven YOURS.

    Not to say you NEED to be forgiven here, because I can't see where you truly transgressed... except maybe your lack of love for your dear BIL. But that's understandable - his hypocrisy was hard to bear. But we've all been guilty of hypocrisy, at some point or another, have we not? It's not a situation with God/Christ, dear one, where one can say, "Yeah, well I may have done that... but I NEVER did that!" Sin... is sin.

    So, if you want to be forgiven for your... ummmm... possible lack of self-control... YOU must forgive others for their similar treatment as to you.

    But, I like what you said to your dear BIL. Sounds like something I might have said... well, wanted to - LOLOLOL!... and surely something he needed to hear. So... give it to God, dear one, through Christ... and then move on. Because on behalf of Christ, I can say to you that YOUR sin, if there even was one... is already fotgiven.

    Again, peace to you!

    YOUR servant, as I am servant to ALL those of the Household of God, Israel, and those who go with... and a slave of Christ,


  • jwfacts

    I think your replies were great. A JW definitely needs to be made aware that you no longer equate being part of the organisation as having any relevance on your relationship with God.

    I would appreciate any feedback about my responses.

    JW`s are right,your wrong..

    You won`t convince them other wise..

    ............................  mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • LongHairGal


    I don't blame you for being rip-roaring mad. I would be too. But when we live our life honestly, JWs are going to see it and they will not like us anymore! This is the price to be paid for being your own person. You really can't have it both ways and after being inactive for twelve years I have no patience for JWs.

    My friends list is hidden on FB and certain photo albums are not visible to certain on-the-fence JWs. Your responses were excellent but the situation is what it is. Just move on with your life and forget these people.

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