There is a CATCH-22 that can trip you up at the local Kingdom Hall.
If you receive "counsel" from an Elder about any behavior at all and you "resist" or question the counsel you can be accused of having a "spirit of rebellion".
So, you have to either shut up and comply (with even the most ludicrous and ill-founded suggestions) or answer back and be chastised and "marked".
Is there a better way?
I have a few suggestions that might help.
1.Smile and thank the brother for bringing the matter to your attention. Look them right in the eye.
2.Ask if you can sit down privately later somewhere and have a more in-depth casual chat about the details.
3.Begin the "chat" by mentioning that you were surprised that your behavior had offended the brother.
"I always have thought of you as very strong in the Truth, so; you can imagine my surprise that (insert complaint behavior) stumbled you! It was very kind of you to bring it to my attention before real harm was done."
4.(The brother will sputter and defend themselves because their ego is now the issue. They are on the defense and you aren't.) Reply with kindness.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't choose my words very carefully. I didn't want to put you on the defensive. I mean, you can't help what offends you--your conscience is probably alot more tender and sensitive from your years of service."
5.Now, watch their expression and eyes when you say: "I truly want to express my gratitude that you followed the bible's admonition to counsel me first privately before discussing this with anybody else. You DIDN'T discuss it with anybody else first----DID YOU?"
6. (Say the next sentence with firm but gentle authority)
"Worldly people wrongly criticize Jehovah's people by saying we aren't allowed to have a personal opinion or free expression without being shut down or silenced in the congregation. Yet, here we are having a free exchange of ideas!"
7. "Wouldn't you agree that if a behavior or personal means of self-expression isn't specifically identified in the Bible-it is really a matter of personal conscience?"
The brother or elder will use the line about "offending a weaker one's conscience and stumbling"
8. "Well, as you've said earlier--you certainly are NOT a weaker brother--so NO HARM DONE--right?"
The brother or elder will mention "others" who "might" be stumbled.
9.Smile and give a robust laugh while slapping him on the back as you say:
"I know what you mean,Just about anybody could be potentially offended by anything--now couldn't they?"
10. (Whatever reply the elder gives next, follow with) "I'm sure you will agree with me, Brother X, none of us wants to live in the same SPIRIT OF FEAR that the churches of Christendom have. In Jehovah's organization we have a SPIRIT OF FREEDOM because Christ Jesus FREED US from the fear of man. Allowing the fear of weaker people to control us and restrain us would be to plunge back into the darkness."
"Like the scripture says, Those whom the Son has set free are FREE INDEED!"
Conclude by saying:
I'm so very glad we had this conversation.
"You know, a weaker brother might have simply tried to bully me by trying to use their personal preference as a wedge under the authority of being an Elder in the congregation. But, you Brother X, are too mature and loving a brother to ever pull that crap! Thanks so much for your help. I feel much better now---don't you?"
How to handle it when a JW gives you "counsel" about some stupid crap
by Terry 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Terry
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stillin
sweet!
Sounds like you've been called in on the carpet a few times. It's so true that many of them are just full of themselves (and hot air!)
Unfortunately tact is not my strongest point.
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Satanus
I love this one. Show the bs content of their control methods.
S
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RoosterMcDooster
Good stuff!
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problemaddict
Its always been a long standing fun thing for when someone brings somethign to my attention, to suggest I am sorry that I stumbled them. NOBODY admits to being stumbled, and then i ask them why they are sharing their opinion since Matew 18 is only suggested when someone has been stumbled. Once they say that others COULD BE stumbled, I ask them who and why. I then reask them if they are sure they have not been stumbled.
Works from CO's to publishers. I actually called some elders on the mat for not following mathew 18 when someone said something about me to them that bothered them. The CO in the room just said..."well when its serious enough.....the elders have to get involved". I looked at him int he face, and told him to show me the scripture that supports the idea you don't have to follow Matthew 18 if someone subjectively deems it to be "serious".
That was the begining of the end for me.
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rip van winkle
Are YOU sure you ARE NOT a magician. Terry?
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Terry
Are YOU sure you ARE NOT a magician. Terry?
Well, I will answer your question truthfully if you can find it in the box immediately below this sentence.
No, I am not a magician.
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Terry
In the above box take your mouse pointer and highlight the contents....
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jgnat
I threaten to throw his (extensive) baseball hat collection in to the snow.
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DATA-DOG
WOW. I usually shrug my shoulders and smile and say " That's interesting. I never thought of it like that..." Your way is better.