Venting some rage and pain.

jemba

My father the COBOE and much loved member of the cult has ignored me and my children 17yrs and 8yrs old for much of my life and all of my kids lives.

I hate that religion for taking my father away and I hate him for being sucked in and putting all his love, time and kindness into the org and the stupid dubs and leaving himself too tired and uninterested in us. My kids dont have grandparents, my mum is ok, she rings me once a month but kinda ignores my kids, just gives em $50 each a yr as a substitute for love and attention.

We had to move 18 hr drive away for work 12 yrs ago but i still make the time each yr to travel down and stay with them, mum used to come up here for holidays till i told her i was not going to meetings anymore due to depression. Ive just faded not DF or DA.

I cant believe my kids are being ripped off grandparent wise. (Hubbys parents are into paedophilia so enough said there.) Im so friggin angry today, sometimes it just catches up with me esp when I see grandparents who adore their grandkids and spend every moment they can with them.

Its hard to believe how nice, loving and kind my dad is to the dubs, it makes me cry because i want that! As his daughter im entitled to that, them fools already have their own families, they dont need mine!!

Ive never been spiritual enough for my dad, simple as that - a big disappointment 'spiritually' forced into baptism at 15, kicked out 6 months later for not wanting to go to meetings, spent 3 yrs of my life living with prostitutes and drug dealers, being drugged and raped and ending up feeling very low and suicidal.

DF at 20 then my life got on track when I met my wonderful Hubby of 19 yrs, after my reinstatement at 22 my dad basically ignored me, hardly spoken to me since.

Thankyou all for listening to my angry painful rant, Im typing so fast there is no time for punctuation or spell check, I know if I dont write this while angry then I never will.

happy@last

How sad Jemba that they are losing out on so much. It reinforces the fact it is a cult, they obviuosly think they are doing the right thing, but clearly are not.

zeb

the 'love' he is showing others is an act. Find another older person with who you can share your kids. His loss not yours.

LouBelle

My grandmother shuns me and I have not said a word to her for 7 years. It doesn't bother me and I don't feel robbed. I don't want any love that comes with conditions thank you.

My two worldly grandparents (I stay with them) are extremely bitter and hateful people and literally tolerate me even though I have spent my life, finances, emotion in servitude to them. I have been nothing more than a bank account to them - so I've pulled myself away from them. It doesn't matter if they are in the faith or not - grandparents don't always add up to be all that.

cofty

jemba - you have every right to feel angry about this.

Its great to hear you have a loving partner. Its not easy but you have to get to a point where you concentrate on your own life and no longer worry about people who treat you badly.

I wrote a bit about my parents here.

You are a survivor. Its his loss.

creativhoney

hello - Im slightly confused by your post. - are you DFd or not? one part i see you say you arent then further down it seems like you are.

- even so - Im sorry and no one should have to experience this.. and why do your children get shunned? - even when my mum didn't mix with me, she still saw my kids (16 and 14) since I met my 'worldly' husband she has had a normal relationship with me despite me being DFd and says that nothing would stop her being part of the lives of any of her grandchildren. Im fortunate my mum has a mind of her own despite some of the cult mentality that is hard wired into her brain.

a wise friend once told me when i said i couldnt accept it 'you dont have to accept it, but you do have to learn to deal with it' - best advice i had been given - he was saying yes shunning is wrong and as such unacceptable, however you have to find a way to get on with your daily life without letting it ruin it.

i saw this in the 'world' too - just generall people who have rubbish parents - my best friends dad has never been there for her - religion wasnt even a cover. he had a wife and other kids and she was the throwback mistake. - now in her 40s she doesnt even view him as a dad. she expects nothing and that way she cant be disappointed.

i think sometimes they use the truth as an excuse - you have no way of knowing if he might just be a lazy and irresponsible parent anyway hiding behind religion as a cover.. .

- dont fall into sadness, live your life, expect little and you wont be disappointed. - i grew up with no grandparents, your kids will be fine - they are losing out on a wonderful gift and you have that gift every day. - most of all be thankful that uyour children arent forced into that unhappy way of life. xxx

punkofnice

Jemba - It's ok to vent. Your feelings are perfectly normal. Sadly your father's feelings aren't normal. They've been manipulated by a disgusting cult that is evil to the core.

If it's any consolation, my wife left because I'm an 'apostate'(TM).

The WBT$ are actually fulfilling the scripture about 'no natural affection.' whether they like it or not.

As above. So below!

perfect1

You have really been through a lot.

I am sorry about your parents.

But I am also happy for you that you have a nice new happy family of your own. That is wonderful.

Like you, my relationship with parent family is awful, but relationship with my spouse is great. I feel so lucky to have real love in my life, after living with JWs my whole life. It is very different kind of love. I am not sure they can separate their love from what you have to do to deserve their love. It always has to be earned, and its never enough.

It is painful.

Best wishes to you.

mrsjones5

Vent away. It catches up with me too especially around the holidays. I have four kids that my parents don't have much to do with. Oh they can babysit and fawn over other people's kids but they can't treat their own grandchildren like that. My mother recently complained of my children's lack of affection for her and I told her you teach people how to treat you.

Lozhasleft

I am sad for you and it sounds like you've had a rough deal for a long time. This is a good place to vent and get support and ultimately begin to heal. I'm a grandmother of 5, I don't any of them and its painful. Through my hubby now I am privileged to be a granny to 7, I love them all very much, and it does help. The WTBS has so much to answer for.

Loz x

Venting some rage and pain.

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