Update on Mrs Obvious and myself (page 2)

Vidiot

Unfortunately, no one can told with the WTS truly is.

You have to see it for yourself.

Sounds like you have a very good relationship with your wife. Your attitude and high morals will go a long way in helping your wife see that you are not a "crazed apostate". LOL You are so so lucky to have a wife who says she loves you no matter what. That should make it much easier to talk to her.

My husband and I both began to wake up at the same time but were afraid to tell each other. For me I was beginning to see the fallacy of the blood issue and he was having doubts about there being a global flood. Being the researcher of the family I offered to look up information on the flood. Pardon the pun but this opened the floodgates to our conversation. It also made it easier to start looking into other subjects as well.

Since you say you are the researcher in your family, I suggest you listen to what concerns your wife and then offer to look up information on the subject. BE PATIENT!!

It was 4 1/2 years from the time I started having serious doubts until my husband and I walked out of the organization for good. My husband had been in the organization for all of his 55 years by the time we left.

Captain Obvious, you are doing just fine. I am looking forward to reading your success story.

Reopened Mind

braincleaned

Good Job! Keep it up! :D

Try not to state the lies of the WTS -- present it so that you can ask her what SHE thinks about this or that? Let HER find out and reason on all of it.
Truth bears no examination - kindly slip that in - then keep placing the cards on the table. Just don't play her turn - let her win by herself.

You're doing well! ;)

braincleaned

WOW Reopened Mind! Great story. I applaud you both! ;)

" It was 4 1/2 years from the time I started having serious doubts until my husband and I walked out of the organization for good. "
Yep - that's how long it took me! I was 47 at the time, practically born in the alledged "Truth"... I also had huge issues with the flood & blood (sounds like a rock band)... :D

lisaBObeesa

lozhasleft said:

Sounds like your wife is already on your side in many ways, and if you get hunted down I think she'll be indignant at them. Then might the time for her to see the control issues, cos if you stated your views you'd be DFd for apostasy. Meanwhile keep up the loving care of her.

That is exactly what I was thinking. She knows you are a good person, and that doing your honest and open-minded research...she knows you are not trying 'cause divisions' and that you are not trying to pull people out of the Org. If they hound you for no reason and/or DF you, she will see how unjust, unloving, and dishonest the JW org really is, and how heartless the people she calls 'friends' in the congregation really are.

cobaltcupcake

All I can say is take it slowly. It took me years from my initial doubts to the day I walked away - probably 9 or 10 years. It sped up toward the end, and I was barely active for the last two years. One thing that helped me immensely was having a friend who wasn't afraid of being a heretic, and we both aired our grievances to each other in weekly sessions. Seriously - being able to rant about what was bothering me was my ticket out. Otherwise, it was all bottled up inside of me with a Leave-it-in-Jehovah's-hands stopper.

Vidiot

braincleaned - "... flood & blood (sounds like a rock band)..."

Apocalyptic Christian metal?

wannaexit

From my own personal experience, I'd say: continue doing what you are doing. I know that it hard fo you, but please don't flood her with too much. Let her put two and two together, she will get it in time.

I believe once she realized that the governing body is not guided by holy spirit and that these men are not God's spokesman, then the house of cards will fall for her.

When I was at your wife's stage, I would complain about things in the congregation and blaming the local brothers . My husband would say : do you think its a local problem or systemic? Do you think the local brothers are to blame or are they acting on suggestions from the governing body.? This type of reasoning helped me to see the bigger picture. Once I realized who the Wizard behind the curtain was--everything fell in place.

Captain Obvious

Loz- yes, she is already an my side in many ways, and doesn't seem to feel the need to do everything the GB says to.

In our conversation I was talking about how the bible is very clear that we should trust NO MAN with our faith. Jesus was pretty clear about that. I was talking about how following the commands of men puts them between us and Jesus. I planted that seed a few weeks ago after the public talk that Sunday talked about how Jesus is the mediator for all men. We went over those scriptures, then I showed her how the org teaches that Jesus is the mediator for only the 144000 and the FDS is between us and him. She didn't say much, but I saw the wheels turning and left it alone for a few weeks.

I was also talking about how the early Christians had no buildings, no leaders. They met in small groups in private homes, like a group of friends. Not necessarily even to worship. She agrees, but still feels that we should have a regular place of worship.. Like at the KH. She sees no harm in staying in the org. I talked a bit about how the org hurts people, me personally. After a bit she got defensive of the org so I backed off.

When we're at the meetings, she'll elbow me if I'm making faces at when people say haha. I will occasionally whisper to her why what a person said on the platform or in a comment is wrong, and she will listen. Not agree or disagree, but she will hear it. Sometimes I will ask her to put a cited scripture in context and see if she still thinks it applies to how it is used at the meeting. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she won't. When you're taught to read things into scripture your whole life it can be a hard thing to shake.

NJY - I will take a look at that page, JWfacts has been a huge help to me.

I really appreciate the advice I've received on this board from all of you. I still have to remind myself to step back and take it slow, yes I am getting a bit impatient. I feel like I have a deadline to meet or something. No matter how long it takes it will be worth it. I just hoping to minimize the fallout with family.

mamochan13

I think you are doing great, Cap'n O. I'd add another groundwork suggestion. Maybe start thinking about ways to develop a non-JW network of friends. It will help cushion the loss that will eventually occur when you are both out, and it will help your wife appreciate that there are good people outside of the religion. Also gradually start some outside activities, perhaps volunteering, sporting or art activity. Little by little start to fill your life with non-JW activities.

Update on Mrs Obvious and myself

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