How Suicidal Thoughts can take over your Life.

by Lady Lee 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Lannie - the past year and a half has been extremely difficult. At times I've related to what LL talks about in this thread. Every day is such a struggle you get tired and just want a normal life again. And I hate the games some people like to play. But spreading lies about me, well I thought only my JW mother was that low.

    But as they say things do get better and when I look at where I was April 2011 and where I am now, there has been a lot of progress.

    FHN - I guess my point about meds is don't blindly trust your doctor about them. Just because he/she says they're safe doesn't make it so. For example anti-anxiety meds in particular are easily addictive and very difficult to withdraw from. That just creates another set of problems in addition to the original one.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    I had a bad experience with one medication, but I do believe antidepressants can be a life saver. I have taken other medications with no problems at all. The right medication can bring you out of a depression and give you time to get your life back on track. I think some people think an anti depressant is some kind of "happy pill" that fixes everything and is a cop out. That is not the case at all. There are many ways to treat depression, that is just one of them.

    You have to do your homework though. If I had spent a few minutes doing research before I took the Cymbalta, I could have saved myself a lot of grief. At the least I would have known not to ever miss a pill. I was given this by a PA, not a doctor. I think you are better off going through a psychiatrist, not a regular MD. They are better at evaluating your condition and knowing what is best for your particular issues. And Cymbalta has helped other people where nothing else did, so it has it's uses, you just have to be very, very careful, especially when stopping it.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    For example anti-anxiety meds in particular are easily addictive and very difficult to withdraw from. That just creates another set of problems in addition to the original one.

    If you take ANY medication that can be habit forming, it is not a good idea to abrubtly stop taking them.

    I'm not telling any of you to do this, but I can tell you that this worked for me when I wanted to stop taking klonapin, years ago. I would be fine for the first couple of days, then I'd feel really weird. So I asked my pharmacist what to do.

    This is what the pharmacist told me about how to stop taking them nearly painlessly. he was an older, more mature man with many years of experience. He said, "People go about getting of these medications the wrong way. They want to be off of them yesterday, so they just stop taking them. What you need to do is to get off them slowly.

    You do it this way: fill your prescription and and take 3/4 a dose for the entire bottle. (So if you take three .05 mgs of let's say lorazepam, then you break it in half and then break one of the halves in half. ) You take 3/4's of .05 mgs each dose. Then when you are out, you go down to half of a .05 mg tab each dose. When that bottle is empty, you go down to 1/4 of a .05 mg three times a day. When that bottle is finished, you go to 1/4 of a .05 mg tablet two times a day and then you begin to cut back to one time a day and then you go to every other day. He told me that even if takes you a year, it is the best way he has seen to go off a medication like pain medication or a benzodiazapene. Then you take it only as needed.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    But as they say things do get better and when I look at where I was April 2011 and where I am now, there has been a lot of progress.

    Writing your feelings and fears down in a journal helps. Especially when you come back a year later and see how those issues did get solved and you remember how you thought you'd never survive, but find you have. This too, really shall pass.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    There is some news about ketamine stopping depression. They say a dose acts within hours and works for up to 10 days. They that it works differently from the usual antdepression meds that take weeks to start working. Ketamine stops the leakage of the right chemicals from the synapses, or something like that. Don't know if you could get a doc to prescribe, though. If you're a horse, on the other hand, you have no prob getting it.

    S

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I totally agree meds should be a part of what you do to take care of yourself. If you can't get up to do the things you need to do or to even get into talk therapy medication may be for you. Sometimes the problem is more of a health problem that needs to be dealt with so having a physical can rule that possibliity out. Sometimes the medication you are on has negative side-effects or has no effect at all. Talk to your doictor and change meds. Never go off meds entirely without the supervision of a doctor. Major withdrawal symptoms can be very dangerous. I won't be using meds. I have been through worse and am able to assess how I am doing. I will be okay.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    UPDATE: I spoke with my oldest daughter today. She says she would never do to me what her sister has done. Things are still in an upheaval. And they may never work out with my youngest. But I have my older daughter and the grandchildren. I am blessed with a very forgiving daughter.

  • tec
    tec

    (((Lady Lee)))

    I am sorry about your youngest daughter. My heart breaks for you both. That is such wonderful news about your oldest though.

    Everything about you is a symbol of strength and courage. No matter what life has thrown at you, you have survived and then conquered, in helping others. You are still helping others, and I've no doubt that you will continue to do so. I have the greatest respect (and somewhat awe) of your strength, and your giving to others.

    Peace and love to you,

    tammy

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Dear Lady Lee,

    At least some good news here tonight about your oldest daughter. Perhaps your younger daughter will come to her senses. You never know when something will happen to her and she will wake up.

    Have you tried a holistic approach to your depression and negative thoughts? I am able to control it very well with suppliments from the health food store. Of course, I can't compare the two of us, and of course, you have to decide for yourself what is the best treatment for you.

    I wish you all the best and appreciate your sharing your feelings and experiences with us. OOMPA's tragedy affected us all. Thanks.

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    Lee: I can ask for help. I am not powerless.

    Thank you for sharing your story. Amidst all the pain there is relief, after the tears there remains hope.

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