You Know You Are In The Wrong Religion When:

by Vanderhoven7 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Vanderhoven7

  Here is a list I've started...but hope will be added to.
  
  
  You know you are in the wrong religion when:

  1. the all important question is not: "Do you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ?"....but...."Do you believe in the "Faithful and Discreet Slave" appointed in 1919?"
  2. You will be refused baptism if:
  
  a. you don't believe Jerusalem was destroyed in 607 BC when all non-JW scholars, all encyclopedias and all history books say this event took place in 587 BC.
  
  b. you, like Cornelius, are a member of the military.
  
  c. you, like Daniel, Joseph and the Ethiopian eunuch hold political office.
  
  d. you don't believe the apostles went door-to-door and that Christians are required to do the same.
  
  e. you don't believe there the majority of Christians running around today are not part of the New Covenant, do not have a heavenly hope, and are not Spirit-begotten or born again.
  
  f. you don't believe that finding and vserving in the right organization (the one with headquarters in Brooklyn) is necessary to escape eternal destruction at Armaggeddon.
  
  g.
  
  h.
  

  3. You will be disfellowshipped (spiritually executed) if
  
  a. you don't agree that rejecting the authority men in Brooklyn is worthy of excommunication and shunning ex-JW family members.
  
  b. you disagree with any doctrinal position or change handed down from the current governing body in New York.
  
  c.
  
  d.
• 

  ziddina

  Hah!

  Is this "fill in the blanks"???

  In that case, for #3, item C, I'd suggest: you engage in any behavior that could be labeled as "brazen", and you refuse to "repent" when called before a kangaroo court.
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  Phizzy

  You know you are in the wrong religion when it has the words "Jehovah" and "Witness" in its title.

  Jesus said His followers would be Witneses for Him, Isaiah wrote that the nation of Israel would be J.W's
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  Vidiot

  If you regularly use the word "pioneer" as a verb...

  ...you might be a Jehovah's Witness.
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  james_woods

  Aside from the many JW religion nutmarks - a clear sign would be if they told you a starship was hiding behind the Hale-Bopp Comet, and that the only way to salvation was to castrate yourself, put on a ninja suit with black tennis shoes, and commit ritual suicide with booze & pills...

  However, let us carry on with JW nutcase teachings -
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  blondie

  I would like to say that many of these things should have been signals not to become a member. I have checked out many other religions since I left the WTS and I am unaffiliated as the Pew Survey says. There has always been something I could not endorse and the groups involved required that I do.
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  OnTheWayOut

  ...some woman is wearing a napkin on her head saying she has to because "no brothers are here."
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  Chariklo

  ...if you are a woman and you dare to think instead of just meekly agreeing with everything "the brothers" do and say.
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  Badfish

  You know you're in the wrong religion when...

  ...All your friends stopped speaking to you because you grew a beard.
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  BlindersOff1

  When Self anointed self appointed men tell you who you can talk to and not talk to