Rules in the New System

by King Solomon 50 Replies latest social humour

  • james_woods
    james_woods

    We had a great debate going on whether or not there would be cars.

    After a while, the Watchtower published a picture of the new system with somebody plowing a field with a tractor.

    All the car enthusiasts took this as proof that there WOULD be cars.

  • King Solomon
    King Solomon

    Tal said:

    There will be NO books!

    Presumably you mean no "secular" books? There's always room for a bookcase of JW publications!

    However, you might be onto something: with all that free time and no secular books, it's a given that memorization of the Bible will be the bare minimum requirement (traditionally, Jewish boys were expected to memorize the Torah (Law) by the age of 13, as Jesus did).

    Except under the GB's leadership, all New System inhabitants will be required to memorize not just the entire Bible, but every last word ever written in ALL WTBTS publications (flip-flops, errors and all) dating back to 1874! And one's failure to regurgitate upon random challenge by authoirities ("recite pg 5 of the Awake! Jun 14, 1934!") means instant death by vulturization.

    Jamba said:

    No sleeping with your hands under the covers. (This will be easily checked as we will be living in domitories with constant patrols, better hope your hands dont move in your sleep as they will be cut off, better to enter the Kingdom of God with one hand).

    Well THAT would explain the apocryphal writings, the Book of Watchers.

    Cagefighter said:

    The GB makes a surprising shift in doctrine and no longer considers oral sex a df'ing offense. Oral only is mentioned because the resurrected have no sexual organs of course.

    Hey, you may be onto something. It's likely the resurrected would have to be the slaves, the worker bees who toil as caterers while all the others are enjoying the picnic (what: did you think those meals prepared themelves?). Since resurrected ARE the equivalent of eunuchs (sans genitalia), that makes them the ones with a despised condition in the ancient Hebrew world (eunechs were blocked from worshipping along with able-bodied men in Temple, something that violates our modern ADA!).

    Maybe every household would have a fleet of eunuchs, who have to be content with voyeurism (Book of Watchers, again?), or if they participate, their mouths serving their masters "needs".

    UC said:

    He was an avid fisherman and he had rationalized in his mind that even though it was always assumed we would be vegetarians, we would still eat fish, so he declared it so, from the platform no less.

    That's hilarious, as apparently some are trying creating New Systemâ„¢ policy, and not waiting on Jehovah.

    He probably decided that if he couldn't fish in the New System, he didn't really want to survive, anyway. But he didn't think about what happens if he tries to force policy and didn't survive Armageddon as a result, and the survivors WERE allowed to fish.... He lost out by trying to win a policy battle he didn't even need to fight (and of course, there will be no New System anyway, so jokes on him, anyway you cut it).

  • 00DAD
    00DAD

    Trust me, if the WTBTS is right, there will be rules, plenty of them!

    Notice what one US Supreme Court Justice said regarding Jehovah's Witnesses and their rules:

    "The Witnesses … have developed an elaborate set of rules governing membership." - US Supreme Court, Paul v WTBTS of NY, Inc.

    Imagine that, a US Supreme Court Justice thinks the WT rules are "elaborate"!

  • blondie
    blondie

    As to fish there was a picture of a boy fishing in the new system in a recent magazine. (last 10 years)

    I have been told by elders that they will hunt animals. Can you find a statement in the last 30 years in WT publications that says people will not eat meat?

  • james_woods
    james_woods
    Can you find a statement in the last 30 years in WT publications that says people will not eat meat?

    While this is a very common JW belief (at least back 30 years ago when I was in it) - I cannot recall any printed statement that humans would not eat meat in the New World.

    However, there was plenty of evidence that Lions and other predators supposedly would not eat meat - and I guess that by extending that idea to people the notion got started.

    Another slight breakdown of logic on the "animals will revert to plant eaters" is their often-repeated belief that carrion birds would scavenge on the dead after Armageddon. I guess they thought that the buzzards would become vegetarian too (or die off) after the bodies of the Armageddon dead had been consumed.

    Come to think of it - although I always assumed that while humans would live forever, animals would still age and die - I cannot think of any written proof that this was an official teaching.

  • stapler99
    stapler99

    Every morning groups will have to assemble to read the Day's Text, an excerpt from the Watchtower magazine. Attendance is mandatory, as ill health is no excuse - anyone who doesn't attend will be swallowed up by the earth. There won't be field service any more, so there'll have to be some other way of wasting time - maybe counting blades of grass in a field? There'll also be Kingdom Melody singing sessions. Praising Jehovah for all eternity - what a privilege!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    No crying allowed (Isaiah 25:8). Can't think what the punishment would be. No prisons. No disfellowshipping.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Too bad there won't be any petrol stations for those vintage cars, james_woods.

  • undercover
    undercover

    Can you find a statement in the last 30 years in WT publications that says people will not eat meat?

    No, 'cause I ain't gonna look.

    For whatever reason it was assumed that we would not eat meat. I think part of it was because supposedly before the Flood, man didn't eat meat and since we would be attaining pefection in the New System, we would revert back to Jehovah's intent of having us not eat meat.

    Even if the WTS never said anything about not eating meat, they allowed the R&F to speculate themselves into an expectation of having to give up another freedom. When they speculated into a rule among themselves, allowing the WTS more control, the WTS kept mum and allowed their imaginations to run rampant. When they speculated against WTS wishes or decrees, then they put a stop to it.

  • james_woods
    james_woods
    Too bad there won't be any petrol stations for those vintage cars, james_woods.

    I take refuge in the picture of the tractor. Did you know that the first Lamborghinis were tractors?

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