Loss and Loneliness

by compound complex 15 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Tonight's sunset is as spectacular as any I had ever viewed from the kitchen window in my former, beloved home-sweet-home.

    A tiny abode it was compared to my current habitation. No longer within a mere four wooden walls of plain aspect and diminutive scale, I now am lost in a seeming infinite architectural spread that reaches toward earth's four points, an edifice of four expansive levels that demand I walk, climb, explore every one of thousands of hidden nooks and crannies. I am compelled to do this but find no joy in discovery.

    I want to go back, go back to the simplicity of my earlier life. I cannot.

    It is becoming dark out of doors, a furtive, watery sun having limped its pathetic course through the closing chapter of a gloomy and damp spring day. Its brief, craven appearance has created more shadow than illumination, and this has tended toward my unease, prompting me to turn on each light of every room on all floors. I am alone - sometimes it is all right to be alone - but not at this time. This dwelling space of loss and loneliness holds me captive, and I want only to walk out the door and go home.

    I can never go back.

    I have been locked up within. Who hears my cries for help? They are swallowed down whole by the grinning and cruel emptiness of an outwardly beautiful home that has no soul so has stolen mine.

    No one hears my cries for help. They are growing fainter. I am silent as I watch the sun sink deeper and deeper into an eternal night ...

    It is beautiful....

  • NVR2L8

    Cher CoCo,

    Merci de partager des états d'âme avec nous. La vie moderne manque de poésie et de noblesse...mais particulièrement de temps pour apprécier les petits moments qui nous sont chers et qui comptent le plus.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Mon Cher JamaisTropTard:

    Je vous remercie de votre gentillesse pour moi. Je passe du temps aux maisons d'autrui et ce que vous venez de lire en etait mon impression.

    Bien des choses de mon part ...

    CoCo de la Mediterranee

  • braincleaned

    Une belle prose poetic. Je suis avec toi...

    Beautiful poetic prose. I'm with you...

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Today, at the grocery store, I was standing next to a good looking tall guy and I had to control myself from putting my hand up under his loose shirt and caressing his warm back.

    How long, do I have to live this way? I don't want all guys. Just my own man. If they are tall and clean and smell nice, I'm a goner.

    I've been a good witness all my life. I'm going thru a divorce with an abusive (not an) elder (now). I thought I was being a more spiritual person, more faithful to Jah, because I said a vow and wouldn't break my marriage vow, no matter what. But his abuse was killing me. I had to leave. No love life is killing me now.

  • 3rdgen

    ((((((((((Co Co))))))))))) ((((((((Lois))))))))) I've been there

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Greetings and gratitude, braincleaned, LoisLane and 3rdgen:

    Your comments are appreciated as well as touching on a number of different levels ...

    Thank you so much!

    I'm sorry, Lois, about your dilemma. We who are alone face the same difficulties and experience like, troubling emotions. I, too, wonder how long I have to live this way. My only solution is to be involved with people (on a Platonic level) and sublimate my inner passions through writing. My endeavor is to maintain my poetry and stories at a PG rating, but sometimes I really want to soar into the broad and beautiful sky and let it all explode ...

    Love and peace.

    CoCo Subdued

  • misanthropic


    Wow, just sent out a letter to you today; was thinking maybe, just maybe, I'd find something from you on here.

    "My endeavor is to maintain my poetry and stories at a PG rating, but sometimes I really want to soar into the broad and beautiful sky and let it all explode ..."

    I'd love to see that, I say go for it!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thank you, Miss Ann:

    Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Wishing you and your loved ones well.

    Difficult to write these last few days due to the sadness of losing one of our own ...

    Rest in peace, E.R.



  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dawn creeps upward, straddles the dark mountain so

    near my quaking refuge of wood, stone and glass.

    I peer through dirty panes and see the darkened land

    where he was swallowed by a black and cruel wood.

    He calls out faintly, begs I open a door that's locked, I,

    the grieving father who searches for a son forever lost.

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