How to Shit in the Woods (page 2)

JeffT

My youngest son gave this book to our daughter for her birthday a few years ago. It is very useful and should be read by anybody who does any camping. A camp shovel and biodegradable toilet paper are a must when out in the woods.

ziddina

Uhm, all toilet paper is biodegradable...

Are you referring to TP that biodegrades at a much faster rate???

OUTLAW

I'm pretty sure the bears haven't read this book!

Bears shit in..

Front of my garage/in the driveway/by the cherry tree/In the front yard/in the back yard..

They would probaly crap in the truck in I left the door open..

............................ ...OUTLAW

daniel-p

Aside from proper hygeine, minimum distance from water sources (200 feet), proper cathole depth, etc., the key to successfully shitting in the woods is to be able to squat while balancing with your feet fully planting on the ground, not just the balls of your feet. This reduces fatigue and aides in full evacuation of the bowels.

Why I'm contributing to this thread I have no idea... just thought I would share that.

OUTLAW

Happiness is an Empty Bum..

........................ ...OUTLAW

moshe

It's a shame the woods is not an option for urban dwellers who have to go--

fakesmile

A free tip:

If someone tells you to wipe with a dollar after you shit in the woods, do not shove 4 quarters in your arse.

(A public service announcement)

right on zed. and dont wipe with poison oak... or a pinecone ;)

zeb

and beware if it is the blow fly season. If blow flies home in on your anus they will deposit maggots there! Have a spray can of flyspray handy and sit (s***) in a cloud of fly spray.

tootired2care

Here is the 10 Step boyscout guide to high effeciency shitting in the woods:

1. Grab just one single square of toilet paper (conservation is paramount)!

2. Find a spot to make it happen.

3. Dig a hole.

4. Make some magic happen.

5. When ready pull out the toilet paper sqare obtained in step 1.

6. Stick your index finger through the center of the square of the toilet paper sqaure.

7. There will be little bit of toilet paper in your finger nail after piercing. Save this little bit off to the side for the momemt - very important.

8. Insert your index finger with tp square en tow into oriface rectum and rotate vigorously!

9. Remove and place tp in hole.

10. Use remaining bit from step 7 to clean out under index fingernail.

HAHAHA

ziddina

"1. Grap one and only one square of toilet paper (conservation is paramount)!..."

Leave it to the Boy Scouts....

I've used dried leaves [big ones], squirrel-stripped pinecones [very absorbent when they're dry!] and dried grasses - but be sure to avoid the 'sawtooth' varieties!!! ouch smiley

I really prefer dried, stripped-down pinecones and last year's oak leaves...

How to Shit in the Woods

Share this