by keyser soze 34 Replies latest jw friends
I'm currently a high school band director going on my sixth year.
I was an elder for 25 years, had two sons play in school band while I served as an elder, one in HS Jazz band for 3 years, the other in MS band. Everyone in the congregation knew. Some of them even came to their concerts. I invited my congregation members to my concerts as a band director.
This is my expert opinion: Your niece's grandmother is an out-of-her-fucking mind control freak.
krejames,
In the congregation I grew up in, joining band or chorus was as forbidden as joining the sports teams. We all went to Prom, but not to Homecoming. However, when I went to bethel, the kids even of elders were in band, but not chorus or sports, and no Prom. According to the School Brochure, JW kids won't participate in anything. The rules translate differently in congregations.
Grandma must think that Sparlock has a magic clarinet. And we know that makes Jehovah sad.
The current COBOE at the hall I used to attend allowed his daughter to participate in band, and I believe she even marched in the local parades with the band. I am sure that he refused to allow her to learn to play any "offensive" songs, but the local school seems to have been very accomodating. Unfortunately for her, she got caught having a crush on a "worldly" kid, and they pulled her out of school. She finished high school at home, gained a hundred pounds, and seemed to be a sad and miserable young woman. She moved out and I haven't seen her in a couple of years, I hope she's managed to find some happiness.
yeah, sounds familiar. if my parents would have let us siblings excercise our talents, the institution would have lost them too.
I agree with Billythex, that the uwritten rules of JWs are inforced at the sole discretion of the Elders of a particular cong. Some Elders are more rigid than others and many have their own opinions which often influence whether they allow something or not.
Generally speaking, most elders allow band, chorus, sports, drama, etc. when it is offered as a school subject during school hours. When it is EXTRA Curricular (sp?) when done AFTER SCHOOL, they highly discourage and somtimes actually forbid. The reasoning is that the child is unecessilarily exposed to "bad associations",competion, patriotic and Holliday music, etc. Of course, the age-old his/her time is better spent in the minestry,studying BS usually comes into play as well.
When I was a JW kid in the '60s I was allowed to take Concert Choir as an elective in both middle and High school. The trouble for me came when the choir performed Christmas and Patriotic songs during the school assemblies. Not being able to participate severly hurt my grade and I ended up dropping out. The band performed at all the football games and because they are after school, the JW kids I knew didn't join.
I've known women like that in the WTS. They really run their families and the husband is just a drone. If the daughter lives with the mother that complicates things. But the father has a say and can take the lead/responsibility for letting her play. The daughter has to really want to play because she will have to stand up to her mother and her grandmother. I have been there myself. I'm sure this isn't the first time and won't be the last that grandma butts in. So your niece needs all the support she can get.
Blondie
My fear is that the elders will find out and try to guilt her mom into forcing her to quit. They don't have any hold over my brother. He lives with me, and doesn't attend meetings anymore. But my ex-sister-in-law wants badly to be reinstated. She's a very co-dependent person, and misses her family and friends.
Keyser, that's why, if he doesn't already have it, your brother needs to go back to court for decision making rights regarding educational and medical dissues for his daughter. In the meantime, grandma should be told to butt out, and if she doesn't, the custody agreement can be modified to forbid all contact with the old bitch.
"In the meantime, grandma should be told to butt out, and if she doesn't, the custody agreement can be modified to forbid all contact with the old bitch."
Many of us are here because we used to be JW's. But how easy it is now to forget that we were slaves to the WT too at one time.
So don't blame the grandmother. She may care a lot for the girl. However, the WT religion has filled her with all this nonsense and she is passing it on, just as many of US may have done in the past.
Don't judge the Witness, one day she may even break free. Judge the religion and its leaders ONLY, IMHO.
Thanks AnnOMaly.
Very true, Shepherd
